arachnidphobia
United States
Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Meg
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Time for a freakout
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
kenneth
Wuss
Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Freaked out
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
JustLeaveThem
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Disproportionate responses are the new black
Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML
Virginy
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
France
Send help
Today, I got stuck in my building's elevator. I pushed the emergency button, which made a ringing noise. After about half an hour, I heard someone yell, "Stop pushing that button, my kids are sleeping." FML
spideypowers
United States
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Bilibók Renáta
Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML
jillydark6609
United States
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Anonymous
Leave spiders to chill
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Top comments
postaltubealex 0
maybe you should write a letter to your congressman about the injustice.
_Sophia_ 14
Today, I was minding my own business when this kid tried to hammer me to death. Then ear piercing alarms went off. It's been five hours, I still can't hear. FML
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Comments (93)
hellokittywhore 0
I don't blam the poor kiddd spiders are grosss! lol =^.^=
whatsername0902 0
i sincerely hope the age you are giving on your profile is fake. i will not believe someone who is 19 still spells like this.
sammyprosnit 8
lol!
dangletsbang21 0
you have a smart child :)
drybutta224 0
postatubeal w.e ur name is ithink im going 2 bomb ur ****** house. go tell obama i threatened u and ihave 82 cousins that work for al-quida. hamm-ala tal-eeb squa-lib!!!
HeatSeeker 0
haha, my brothers do the same, except there. 2 years old and only pressed it because the red button caught there eyes.
HeatSeeker 0
hahaha, Yup my brothers do the same thing... Except, they are 2 years old... And only pressed it cause the red button caught there eyes. Lol. But we never got fined.
EmMaz9457 0
i hate sliders! i woulda done the same thng!
Lesbier 0
shame, I think sliders are a delicious snack or even a meal with enough of them and a good balancing side dish. But to each his own then.
BurningUp 0
hahahahaha you cracked me up
jessxoxo28 5
LMAO!!! thats so funny! i probably would have done the same thing- spiders r evil
HeatSeeker 0
#19... What's a Slider.?
Seventytimeseven 0
L is below P it's an odd typo for spider
JRSpaniel 0
Sliders are mini-burgers. Delicious.
Richy_2010 0
dats insane lol
camaris 0
Haha I understand. I am terified of spiders myself.