Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML
Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML
Today, I was in a big crowded elevator and had to struggle tried to press the button for my floor because no one close to the buttons bothered to ask me which floor I was going to. Instead, I hit the emergency stop button. The elevator stopped between floors for 20 minutes. Everyone stared at me like I was a movie villain. FML
Today, I found a mysterious button under my desk at work and pressed it out of curiosity. It was the emergency panic alarm. Within five minutes, security, my manager, and then two confused police officers were asking if I was OK. I just wanted to know what the button did. FML
Today, I got stuck in my building's elevator. I pushed the emergency button, which made a ringing noise. After about half an hour, I heard someone yell, "Stop pushing that button, my kids are sleeping." FML
Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML
Today, the workplace evacuation bell sounded. Out of panic after the recent earthquake, I ran down 21 flights of stairs, only to find out it was a false alarm. My legs are on fire, and I can barely walk. FML
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, I was late for work and sprinted to catch the elevator. I made it just in time, only to realize I was in the elevator alone and had just dramatically dived into it for no reason. FML
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Iamnotmyself 17
A roach! OMG. ok I got this, I'll press the panic button instead of stepping on it!
Iamnotmyself 17
You owned yourself bro!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (174)
mejiiaa 0
LOL
fanceh 10
did stepping on it ever come into mind?
Aim4thebullseye 4
honestly guys which one of us WOULDN'T have done something like that or similar in that situation?
Iamnotmyself 17
-17 me, my friends, the president, my grandmother, and every person without a deathful fear of something 1/1000 your size?
imosim 0
PAAAANNNNIIIICCCC!!!!!!!!!
Livinia 11
fanceh- maybe OP was too scared to even go near it, let alone step on it.
flockz 20
bet the guys on the security camera were laughing their asses off. at least u made someone's day op.
Aim4thebullseye 4
size is not a factor things 1/100000000 the size of us can kill us.(ex cancer, coronary artery disease, etc etc)
Iamnotmyself 17
-30 Sir it was meant as a joke, an I doubt the roach was caring a deadly human disease.
OWNZ 0
Today, while making my way to the kitchen, i decided to take the elevator rather than crawl through the cracks of the building. Once i got in there, some crazy human chick started screaming and psychotically pressing a button. I frantically held onto her shoe, scared by her constant shreiking. Now im dead... FML
flockz 20
35- Today, im a roach. FML
alexg823 0
oh you guys and your witty comments
OWNZ 0
39- Ya, gotta agree with you there...
OkayImSorry 0
30. The trick is to not be scared of something. A person needs to conquer their fears. Phobias are curable, I know I cured my arachnophobia in a day.
whitesox365 0
30, 1/100000000 of the human body is roughly the size of an individual atom. An individual atom will not kill you my friend. So congrats, you no longer have to fear things 1/100000000 your size!
Iamnotmyself 17
-60 Ever heard of a particle accelerator? I heard somewhere (tell me if I'm wrong) that it has a lot of radiation, enough t o kill you. But would that count ? Ahh the mysteries of life I could google but too lazy to do...
whitesox365 0
particle accelorators arent usually found in your everyday elevator, but i see what youre saying. i walked into one at the grocery store once but he was friendly and didnt harm me
Iamnotmyself 17
-68 Good I her some of them are really mean though, my cousin got stabbed by ones antenna!
whitesox365 0
:O Its always the bad ones ya hear about i tell ya. Particle accelerators these days...
Iamnotmyself 17
**** hide yo Kids hide yo wife and hide the family dog because ***** about to go down.
flockz 20
ya u might get scooped up by an owl watch out!
Iamnotmyself 17
-77 That's why I dont go owling, some poor person might die of shock of a life sized owl!
flockz 20
ya thats why i take baskets full of kittens for the owls to feast on. (hides and waits for trolls to attack comment about death of kittens)
slushpup9696 12
53 - Care to explain?
OkayImSorry 0
I basically dumped a cup of spiders on myself and said **** it. If I want to do what I wanna do in life I can't be scared of something that ******* small. People shouldn't be afraid, it feels so much better not to be.
UnicornHunter 12
Squishing it would've been worst- it would've cracked and it's guts would've got all over their work shoes. I slapped a bug away from by hand, and it was rather big. It got all over me.
Aim4thebullseye 4
in hong kong cockroaches are huge and if you step on them they make the most disgusting popping noise *shudder* (side note not saying OP is in HK)
Iamnotmyself 17
-100 Your so losing it's not even funny
OkayImSorry 0
Losing at what. I'm sorry I'm not some queer little virgin bitch. whether my comments get + thumbs or not really doesn't matter to me.
ImNotAHomosexual 3
132. It is *You're... You just lost.
whitesox365 0
^^ hey take it easy hes not himself lately
Iamnotmyself 17
-148 I lost at grammar, on the other hand he's losing at life, it accidentally auto corrected from lieing.
all4pooh 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And you're a 'real' isiot
all4pooh 4
*idiot
Iamnotmyself 17
You owned yourself bro!
iEatGuppies 0
oh the irony of stupidity.
jackiemoonthepro 5
lol bet op is a woman
Iamnotmyself 17
-66 I bet it was your dad who I totally did last night, just stereotyping... And yes I'm being a troll
idontcare8l 3
haha nyan cat now comes in hd fuzzyness
edogy 0
#2 I realized something here. you get auto correct when you really don't want it but it only doesn't work when you're trying to make a point.
mrtoothpick 11
Muphry's Law (spelling intended) at work.
CompettiveCheer 0
That's some serious shyt.
Lauren10102 3
Wow, I have been sitting here for like five minutes trying to figure out what "S-H-Y-T" could possibly stand for until I realized it was just an idiotic way of stating an unnecessary comment. Now THAT'S some serious shit.
ariannaimelda 7
I have never seen shit spelled shyt. whyl would you replace the "i" with a "y"? if you're going to curse spell it right! it's like spelling **** like ***** it looks stupid
whitesox365 0
36 I think that was a typo. Now on my keyboard the 'y' key is pretty close to the 'i' key. Unless you were just trying to be a cynical asshole, please take a damn chill pill.
dreamering 16
You're a real isiot shyt
gntfmlingnow 12
A lot of people form a habit of saying shyt rather than shit so they can go around filters on certain websites
CompettiveCheer 0
Sorry. Didn't realize I'm normal and make mistakes. My bad.
a_nutritionist 10
do you also consider the entire comment a mistake? because i dont even see how 'thats some serious shit' applies in this situation. its about as serious as a parking fine. so, not very.
CompettiveCheer 0
I put what I think. Simple. So no, I don't consider it a mistake. I see no problem with my comment. I would freak out if I was her too. A lot of girls most likely would.
hisgirlherboy 5
125- yeah but that's a sterotype (sorry grammar nazis for spelling) I wouldn't freak put I'm a girl, my older brother would freak out instead
TheJapaneseSushi 18
Call the FBI!!!!!!
knights95 9
Do u have a phobia about roaches because that's a little too much to panic about
WIZchild 0
so ya stop the elevator instead of getting off earlier now ur stuck woth the roach....GENIUS
kris2335 0
that definatly is someting to panic about:OO.. i have a phobia of roaches.. their sick! lol
martialart1st18 19
Op said "real" as if she thought they were stupid for saying it wasn't a real emergency.
Iamnotmyself 17
A roach! OMG. ok I got this, I'll press the panic button instead of stepping on it!
mynameis1339 0
Seriously.
theguy33 1
yeah because it would have been so hard just to step on the damn thing.
Iamnotmyself 17
-19 Dude they might stab you with their antennae and eat you! They are no loling matter.
chimpsndip 0
"I'll cut you so bad, you, you're gonna wish I didn't cut you so bad." Sorry, I had to make a Family Guy quote.
nativepimp 1
what kind of roach?
Iamnotmyself 17
-140 **** Roach? referring to a small penis
ariannaimelda 7
57 don't worry it's appropriate! OP's username is Meg
MargieDrury 1
Smh roaches are very dirty!
aleclikestacos 8
ignore it and go on with your day, you're in a workplace.
Lulblast 4
What a pansy. Seriously, if you are an insectophobic, then just cower in the corner.
IWarnedYou 0
*looks at her name* *Peter Griffin voice* Damn it Meg!
MsSoulReaper 27
YDI for freaking out. You could have atleast moved out of the way or get off the elevator.
steveakafranxy 7
or leave the roach alone, srrsly it's like a half inch long
mintcar 10
Pwned. More points for the roach If you failed to kill it.
gntfmlingnow 12
it tomahwak'd her. The fine was the humiliation, and put her out of the money
DropTheDaggerxx 31
It always amazes me that people will scream at the sight of bugs. They scare me shitless, but I just kinda stand there paralyzed with fear, mentally willing them to die.