Today, I was finally able to drive my brother's nice car instead of my clunker, because he left for college. First thing I do? Back into the neighbors' mailbox while exiting the driveway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML
Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine three weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealership to pick me up. She backed into my car. FML
Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML
Today, after ten months of carpooling or borrowing my mom's car to get to work, and saving money, I finally have a brand new car. However, I have nowhere to go, besides work, and everyone I know is busy or lives out of state. FML
Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML
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Top comments
juststoptalking 6
Maybe you're not ready to drive nice cars?
DocBastard 40
Jesus Chrysler, how could you not have Dodged the mailbox? Your brother is probably going to get all Benz out of shape and have a Mini heart attack unless you can afFord the hundreds of Buicks for the repairs. If not, he may take you to court and Subaru, and then you'll really be Saabing. Regardless, you're definitely going to be driving your Olds beat-up car now rather than his gAudi one. Oh Jeepers, it's getting late. I have to go. Tata!
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Comments (92)
Forlorn420 9
Female drivers.. *shakes head* I kid, I kid!
OffToTheGayBar 9
Both. =| Damn, I could've sworn that said "Asian", too.
Forlorn420 9
It did at first lol. I edited it
aleeshttylXD 9
Asian drivers r good at driving. u just haven't seen them yet :]]
Superstitious 6
I've never seen an Asian at a car accident...they're always driving away from them
mango260 9
One time in my neighborhood. A car somehow crashed in the roof of a house, and guess who was driving? Yes Asians. The thing that psych me out was how they managed to crash in a roof.
ManInTheMachine 20
Well, now you know why you should stick to the clunker. You're lucky he wasn't there while it happened, so now you can take it to that shady car dealer downtown. Just don't talk to the guy with the sex position book. ;)
DocBastard 40
Jesus Chrysler, how could you not have Dodged the mailbox? Your brother is probably going to get all Benz out of shape and have a Mini heart attack unless you can afFord the hundreds of Buicks for the repairs. If not, he may take you to court and Subaru, and then you'll really be Saabing. Regardless, you're definitely going to be driving your Olds beat-up car now rather than his gAudi one. Oh Jeepers, it's getting late. I have to go. Tata!
mango260 9
That was brilliant o.o
bmkc4 1
I love your comments :)
Calyx_fml 22
Weren't you going to leave FML to focus on your business, Doc?
DocBastard 40
Calyx, would you prefer I leave permanently? I've decided it doesn't have to be all-or-nothing. I'm just spending less time here and more time there.
donaldthegrump 23
You, ma'am or sir are a gift to humanity.
perdix 31
Looks like you're evening things out between you and your fancy-pants, book-larnin', I-think-I'm-better-than-you brother. If you both can't have nice cars, you should both have clunkers.
mango260 9
Ewwwww no! The brother probably bought the car with his hard earned money, why should he have clunker? And Op probably bought what she could afford too. But if the parents bought it then yes both should have clunkers.
perdix 31
It's most likely blatant sexist favoritism. They give the brother the nice car and send him to college, and give the girl the clunker and make her give hand jobs next to the dumpster behind Denny's.
Bonzer 2
31- Ever heard of a joke?
mango260 9
63- no I have never laughed a day in my life :) But 37 ohhhh I see, her life sounds fantastic, I wonder what her next job is when she gets a promtiom ;D
drsonic1 3
I really don't think you should assume things like that...
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I'm so happy that when I start driving, I won't need to back out of my own driveway since I live in a high-rise. :'D But that sucks ass, OP. Hopefully the damage wasn't too bad.
TheDrifter 24
Be careful leaving the parking stall. The neighbor will be much more upset by a damaged car than a bent mailbox.
mango260 9
If nobody saw, then it's all good!
mango260 9
Now I can see why you have the clunker!
The_Thinker 18
OP, always remember this when driving: if at first you don't succeed, maybe this Mrs. Puff's Boating School brochure is for you.
linkinpark98 24
That's the car's way of telling you "OH HELL NO".
safaeita 32
Sadly you'll be driving your old car now
newbiehere99 6
38th YES!!
drunkandfml 11
Is that considered a good thing?
2ndSucks 15
Yes. Now 38 can post a ridiculously pointless comment but it won't matter.