thesmartone
United States
Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Netherlands
Today, my brother "borrowed" my car and keys without asking me. He came back 4 hours later, alone and pale faced. It took half an hour of questions, interrogation, and finally threats before he admitted that my car is sitting in a ditch a few miles away, probably totaled. FML
Micmicmic
Brussels, Belgium
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
GirlOnTheFly
Uniontown, United States
Today, I was finally able to drive my brother's nice car instead of my clunker, because he left for college. First thing I do? Back into the neighbors' mailbox while exiting the driveway. FML
seththing
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Anonymous
Baby you can drive my car
Today, as usual, I work nights and sleep during the day. I found out that my brother uses my car and never puts gas in it when he called me for the first time to actually ask me if he could borrow my car, and also to lend him $20 to put gas in it. FML
Anonymous
It's mine now
Today, my best friend's boyfriend stole her car, so now she wants my car, the one that I just bought from her. FML
carlyalexia
The road to hell…
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Punk'd
Overreaction club
Today, my brother is about to move to a new house, all because last week I played a prank on him. I made him believe that I crashed my car and had to sell his things to pay for the damage. He's no longer talking to me, or acknowledging me as a sibling anymore. FML
jeremiah
Australia
Today, I let my brother borrow my car, as he had a job interview. I told him the tank was nearly empty and gave him $20 to put some petrol in it. Ten minutes later, he calls me, saying the car won't start. He filled it up with diesel. It's a petrol car. FML
GrandTheftArson
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Waterloo, Canada
Pros and cons
Today, my ex stole my car keys. Good news is she can't drive stick. Bad news is she set my car on fire. FML
Top comments
sexaaydino 14
Well at least now you know to not let him borrow your car. And if he has his own car keys why doesn't he use his own car...?
wallandpiece 16
No. When he got in the car, he instantly became stupid.
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Comments (97)
SlytherinPride 7
Oh wow, what and idiot *facepalm*
iStrukk 7
The key to solving this is to borrow his car. No pun intended.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Oh, the irony...
romesh17fml 8
Hehe you got keyed OP but in a special way
AKGirlinSD 20
The movie Idiocracy comes to mind when I read stories, such as this FML, and then the person, who leaves a comment calling the person an idiot, kind of falls into the same category. Any one who hasn't seen the movie must watch it!
Goatinsfriend 8
Was he an idiot before this or..?
wallandpiece 16
No. When he got in the car, he instantly became stupid.
Suchagoonnn 4
#2 were you an idiot before that comment or..?
dude1122332 9
..?
Epsilonyx 15
I was a lesbian goat named Bertha before my commenting on this FML.
TheWindowLicker 13
So you know, 2 was asking if the OP thought his/her brother was an idiot before lending him his/her keys. Probably because If the OP did think he was, then it would be his/her fault for lending him the car. Well, that's how I read it anyway.
Goatinsfriend 8
78, exactly!
SkoomaKi 28
Hot wire your car. Just make sure no police are around, might look like stealing even if it's your own car.
abouttosleep 5
Or put a hot wire in his ass until he sends it to a dealer/garage
igive 29
And take his car as collateral.
ebonyirony 29
As long as you have the owners card and your license they'll know it's your car. Hotwire it.
gracevet88 0
Then it won't work after
sexaaydino 14
Well at least now you know to not let him borrow your car. And if he has his own car keys why doesn't he use his own car...?
In_some_bullshit 13
My thought exactly...
abouttosleep 5
Having car keys does not simply mean you have a working car. All FMLers thought exactly
42istheanswer 27
I have a chevy key in my pocket, yet I've never owned any vehicle. Its a truck I borrow from time to time. His could just be in the shop. Ir something like that
iAmScrubs 19
Wait, so there isn't a universal key for every lock in the world? I've been lied to all my life?
abouttosleep 5
You are so stupid if and only if your father doesn't own a Lamborghini
xDropsOfJupiterx 8
11 - I'm pretty sure you're the stupid one.
abouttosleep 5
No. I'm pretty sure it's either a bad joke, or deep sarcasm included for you to catch. Either way it makes you the stupid one.
MrBrightside21 20
No no, the stupid one is 11s face! Oh snap! Haha I'm flippin hilarious.
abouttosleep 5
No no no, it's you!
ohmandapants 17
Abouttosleep- wtf. How old are you? "YOU'RE STUPID" "No, YOU'RE stupid" Seriously? Grow up. Your comment was dumb, you didn't get the obvious joke. Move on.
abouttosleep 5
Okey OKEY OKAYYY! *whispers they are all stupid but they just don't know it- hehehehe* Can you look again at the first OBVIOUS joke? Now look at my second ( buried comment :[ ) and believe it. All of you are just scared of the rainbow dash
Skinwalker131 5
Ok 11 are you like seven years old? If you aren't please act your age. Hell it wouldn't be bad if you acted slightly older either!!
abouttosleep 5
I will only listen to you 70, not them no
Me_You_Us 7
Abouttosleep - did you not notice that ALL of your comments were thumbed down? Shut up now
AKGirlinSD 20
5, Sadly, yes, you've been lied to. I feel like I just told you Santa Clause doesn't exist and you're only 5 years old. Sorry :-(
Sumalum 7
So he had his own keys but not his car?
Devin91 20
OPs brother could have his car in the shop or something .
Sumalum 7
Maybe it's hidden behind a mail truck.. but he still might need the Continuum Transfunctioner.
MsSoulReaper 27
If you knew he was an "imbecile", why let him borrow your car?
uberdubers 3
Why is imbecile in quotations, sir?
uberdubers 3
Ma'am*
egc573 40
My thoughts exactly. It's like giving a 5 year-old a Sharpie. Don't tempt fate, OP.
MsSoulReaper 27
17- Because I referenced it from OP's FML :3
justjazzmyn 3
she could be calling him an imbecile because he just got his keys stuck in her car. maybe she didn't think he was THAT stupid until afterwards? lol.
yuggi1 11
He let him because they're brothers and I'm sure OP didn't think much about the outcome.
PussyPredator 6
He may be an imbecile, but he's family. That means you can punish him your own way and call it love. I don't doubt the parents fixed the ignition though.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
God have mercy for the people who are on the road as the same time as him
Drew167 8
*red foreman voice "Dumbass"
Needafarm 22
Do you both have similar keys or did you let him put YOUR key on HIS key ring? Was he drunk or tired? Why would you jam a key or anything in a slot it doesn't fit into. Maybe he needs to go back to preschool and learn that circle pegs go into the circle holes and square pegs into square holes. Hope he's adopted.