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FMyLife
sniperkit Traverse City, United States

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

88

sniperkit tells us more.

sniperkit 10

Thank you for the ever-wise insight, 64, as your input is always appreciated and never ******* annoying due to your Captain Obvious-esque remarks. She is indeed moving out, by the way.

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Top comments

heyitsvanessaa 9

Or start looking for a new roommate..

SApprentice 34

You supplied food, thereby raising your status in the pack. Feeling threatened, your alpha roommate has merely expressed her wish to reacertain her dominance by marking her territory- which includes you and all of your possessions. I suggest you puff yourself up as much as possible and maintain silent, steady eye contact with her. She may be stronger than you now, but if you seem threatening enough she won't want to fight you. Then, and only then, will you be able to live peacefully beside her within the confines of your lands.

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Comments (88)

squidgyfalala 4

actually...does she like a band called All Time Low? cause that will explain everything

xgetxbentx 13

I think your roommate is suffering from an untreated mental disorder. You may want to find a new one.

Zebediabolical 45

If you have a history that makes you believe she would pee all over your belongings then YDI for still living with her.

Satoaoi 13

what an ungrateful little bitch

dukie420 4

What does her peeing on everything have to do with you making her favorite meal? I must have missed the punchline

xmaximusx 12

Thats Classy These days

viper8608 9

oh god I got to save that one for later. "I will pee on everything you love" then slam the door behind me

iB_fml 8

Call me crazy, but I sooo wanna know what the roommate's story was

bnutzinger 11

Yep. Would love to hear that aswell. This FML seems only to tell half the story.

jewelz1012 11

Move out! Don't even bother kicking her out because she probably peed every where. U NEED A NEW PLACE

HellOnWheels357 11

Tell her you love her...