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FMyLife
sniperkit Traverse City, United States

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

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sniperkit tells us more.

sniperkit 10

Thank you for the ever-wise insight, 64, as your input is always appreciated and never ******* annoying due to your Captain Obvious-esque remarks. She is indeed moving out, by the way.

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Top comments

heyitsvanessaa 9

Or start looking for a new roommate..

SApprentice 34

You supplied food, thereby raising your status in the pack. Feeling threatened, your alpha roommate has merely expressed her wish to reacertain her dominance by marking her territory- which includes you and all of your possessions. I suggest you puff yourself up as much as possible and maintain silent, steady eye contact with her. She may be stronger than you now, but if you seem threatening enough she won't want to fight you. Then, and only then, will you be able to live peacefully beside her within the confines of your lands.

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Comments (88)

WrongRomance 11

Maybe she has taken up anorexia and the food you made reminds her that she can't eat.

sniperkit 10

Or, y'know, my roommate's simply batshit insane and no longer my roommate.

torio123 27

#28 you cant just 'take up' anorexia its an actual mental disorder.

MBd12 2

You shouldn't have put coconut in the cookies - you knew she was allergic!

The_Honey_Badger 17

Psycho! Time for a new roommate.

perdix 31

So, you're trying to fatten her up so you can steal her boyfriend? And take her clothes? Now wonder she's pissed off!

sniperkit 10

God damn it Perdix, you're always foiling my plans!

007type 26

'Random Urine Testing' Floyd Mayweather would be proud of you. ;)

greenie213 23

I have a friend who does that. Wait... Oh yeah. That's my dog.

thatdangmexican 18

No favorite meals for her next time!

Durdanya 13

Uh, methinks your roommate is a bit fuckered in the head. Perhaps it's time to move out.

Metallica36176 16

I know women are emotional but damn. I know I have days where I think stupid crap for no reason (sadly). Hopefully she realizes what she has done and apologizes. That was very nice of you, but just brush it off as her getting ready to start or something...if she's like that all the time just bitch slap the hell out of her on the other hand. :-/

TiggityTony 5

You should pee on everything first.