sniperkit
Traverse City, United States
Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML
Top comments
heyitsvanessaa 9
Or start looking for a new roommate..
SApprentice 34
You supplied food, thereby raising your status in the pack. Feeling threatened, your alpha roommate has merely expressed her wish to reacertain her dominance by marking her territory- which includes you and all of your possessions. I suggest you puff yourself up as much as possible and maintain silent, steady eye contact with her. She may be stronger than you now, but if you seem threatening enough she won't want to fight you. Then, and only then, will you be able to live peacefully beside her within the confines of your lands.
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Comments (88)
pdp_fml 21
Maybe you are a bad roommate? Try to reason it out with her after she calms down. You don't deserve this kind of treatment.
sniperkit 10
Can I just kick her out of my apartment instead?
whyisitincapital 25
What a bitch (both literally and figuratively)
Batterypost 23
So she is literally a female dog?
SillyGirl4602 23
15- No, not literally.
karlcolt45 19
“I'm going to pee on everything you love" is definitely adding to the list of shit I say. hahaha so ******* weird
oj101 33
I re-read the FML, and I saw generous as nervous the second time. Is there something you're not telling us, especially "your history?"
PunkySpunky78 15
I wonder if someone told her a lie about you to get her pissed off that bad It has happened
RougeRamirez 8
Hide the apple juice.. Just in case
denden_mushi 11
Tell her to have a snickers bar, because she gets territorial when she's hungry.
sniperkit 10
Aha. Good one.
lishajoy777 14
Someone's on the rag!
Ameel_fml 19
"Considering our history..." If she's done this type of thing before, why would you even bother cooking her meals? o.O
sniperkit 10
Because I try to make up with people and give them a second chance if they mess up; in her case, because she was my friend, she got a few extra chances after she acted batshit insane.
Altair18 10
That's why you don't live with female dogs, for no reason they start acting like bitches ..... literally
andyyroxx 20
I'm sorry, but thumbing up your own comment won't save you this time. Literally.
Altair18 10
You're right, it didn't save from a stupid reply like yours, maybe next time instead of channeling your accumulated frustration and anger towards someone you should give originality a chance and actually try to make a comment. Give love a chance 'cause this is making you look bad. Xoxoxoxo
BigSexy123 11
It was funny until you added "literally" to the end. Don't explain the joke, kid.
Ohshitwaddup 8
How cute, you think your comment was intelligent!