Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML
Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML
Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML
Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML
Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. As we were approaching a stop sign, I looked next to me and saw a guy with a triangle-shaped head. I said to my son, "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
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Top comments
moony_fml 0
ouch, i wouldn't pay the ransom if i were u
24788 7
At least you caught him in the action. Makes it much easier to believe it.
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Comments (111)
bobertbarker 0
wow he calls him daddy? if you really planned on starting a family with that guy before at least gaining his trust, you're a retard. and fyl for finding out the hard way
rising_sun 0
#25 the OP actually didn't make their name 'anonymous,' that happens when you're not logged in and you submit an FML. It automatically puts your name as 'anonymous.' Sorry to burst your bubble.
hhhhh_fml 1
#32: Yes, it does! However, I'm pretty sure it doesn't put in "anoymus." ;)
meriadoc2 0
Hey! Number two up there! I love your username!!! Hahahaha oh and to the person with the fml... Awww thats harsh
Futt_Buck 0
So much for wedlock...
Postlude 1
#23 - My fiance's sister was 18 months old when their mother met HIS father. She calls him dad and considers him her real father because he raised her and he loves her. Shit happens, y'know.
wbe2 0
wow, that sucks
dizzyyy 0
Wow. What an ass. & it's horrible that your son had to see that. =(
cheerthefkupism 0
Ouch. *cringes* Sorry that happened to you that way... at least you got to see it for yourself and not just be left suspecting though, right...? And sorry everyone's giving you so much grief about the fact that you said your "fiance`" is called "daddy". My real father left when I was little and my mom dated the same man for years, who played the role of my father-figure, and I called him daddy long before they finally got married. Nobody thinks about stuff like that, but everyone's a critic, what can I say?
abcdefghiloveyou 0
YDI for having a shitty boyfriend. Wait. Fiancé. My bad.