Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML
Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML
Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML
Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML
Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. As we were approaching a stop sign, I looked next to me and saw a guy with a triangle-shaped head. I said to my son, "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
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Top comments
moony_fml 0
ouch, i wouldn't pay the ransom if i were u
24788 7
At least you caught him in the action. Makes it much easier to believe it.
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Comments (111)
Emika_fml 0
#15 might have a point. Sure it's old-fashioned, but what's that saying about cows and milk? But anyway I'm calling FAKE - the whole thing is just too contrived.
Light_Ty 0
Adultery is what hits me worst. Don't listen to any of his "excuses". Guys behaving like that deserve nothing!
Krunk 0
Something quite doesn't make sense. You have a kid. You have a fiancé. Your kid calls your fiancé daddy. Of course that could be the scenario, but I always thought a kid would only call someone daddy if it was his real father or if he's the new step-father, which doesn't appear to be the case yet.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
have you ever thought that that kid was his idiot. hahaha
Helinacoustic 0
#23 My cousin called his future step-mom Mommy for years before she married his dad. Because his mom was a deadbeat and ditched him, and he was very close to his dad's girlfriend. Nothing unusual about taking on a new parental figure!
johnnyboy123 0
im so glad you know how to spell anonymous!!! ;)
Minorchord 4
How do you know it wasn't his cousin or a work friend or anything? Unless I'm just stupid and didn't get what was really going on between them. Your son's remark makes me just think that he was in the car and she was driving, but everyone else's comments makes it seem like there was something sexual going on.
wordgirl 0
The fact that he's your fiancee and not your husband saves you the inevitable cost and effort that divorce will mean for you if he can't keep in in his pants, or even indoors. :) All the best to you, OP. Don't ever let anyone treat you and your son with that little respect.
wordgirl 0
#18: Marriage is not some old-fashioned, out of use throwback, although some people would have it be so. Say and think what you like; marriage is a PROTECTION: if not emotional, then at least financial and legal, that prevents someone from being entirely devastated if one spouse decides to act like a fool. And, no disrespect whatsoever to the OP, but maybe he'd have appreciated it a little bit more if he'd have had to put a ring on it. I definitely think that the man or woman who WON'T MARRY you is not worth having a CHILD with, simply because if he/she can't make a formal life-time commitment to the parent of his children, he's probably not even PRETENDING to believe it's forever.
Puolukka 4
#23 Are you retarded? Who said that her son is NOT her fiancés REAL kid?! Last time I checked you didn't have to be married to be the father of a child...they can very well have a child together without being married. And OP: that really does suck bad...I wanna say at least you found out before you married him, but that's probably not gonna do much since you do have a child together...I just hope he'll keep on taking care of his son even if it may be over with your guys' relationship.
aback 5
Better to know now before you're stuck with him. On the other hand, he still owes child support.