Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML
Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML
Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML
Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML
Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. As we were approaching a stop sign, I looked next to me and saw a guy with a triangle-shaped head. I said to my son, "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
moony_fml 0
ouch, i wouldn't pay the ransom if i were u
24788 7
At least you caught him in the action. Makes it much easier to believe it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
24788 7
At least you caught him in the action. Makes it much easier to believe it.
anonaussie 0
what a jerk and that sucks for your kid to see it as well.... Btw how on earth can this be a YDI??
ilovedastone 0
omg i've been watching law and order svu tonight and kidnapped made me PARANOID. i'm so sorry. some guys just suck.
depotst 0
hahahahaha
lizlaz 2
Haha #10, i agree... Oh dear... your fiance obv doesn't deserve you.
Feste_fml 0
It's definitely an fyourlife because he was cheating, but if he's the father of your son who is old enough to talk, why the heck were you still just engaged?
sarahDarc 3
who said he was the father of her son?
Sanrio90 8
2- WTF? Idiot OP- Sorry you had to see that, but at least you know he's an asshole before marrying him.
beccaahh 0
#10 (=.
Darth_Taco 14
At least you caught it now before you spend all that money on the wedding! I think I feel more sorry for your child. He didn't deserve to see that. I've seen my own father commit infidelity. Trust me, your son is going to need therapy, and your (hopefully now ex) fiancé should pay every dime for it.
bxe255 9
#15 - What are we still living in the 18th Century? Grow up. But yeah, that definately sucks. He could have at least avoided places he knows you go often
onigiriqueen 0
Oooh, snap!