Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a milkshake. When the cashier handed it to me, for some unknown reason I confidently grabbed the lid instead of the cup. Guess who’s now wearing the milkshake? FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
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Top comments
jeremymg91 0
Sucks for you.. can't really punish her though.. I didn't understand that "drinking" was an alcohol term when I was younger either.
ladycoyote 0
Ah, children. Reason #8672 why I'll never have any. :)
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Comments (400)
maggie_gxx 0
oh my gosh i hate people that are saying i hate kids on here. she's only 6 years old!! she doesn't know. you were probably like that too when you were a kid. and besides i mean it's not like she ruined the guy's life by saying that... he probably passed the breathalyzer. seriously all of you guys just need to shut up. what have kids ever done to you; it's ignorant adults like you that are screwing up everything.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
#2 Yes! Any kid who gets the instinctive reaction to go "he's/she's lying!" about his or her parents, even more so to a stranger, URGH. There's something pretty wrong there. In a way, YDI, because your kid is like that at least in part by your fault.
cough 0
agree with #14 it may be considered child-like behavior orrrrr it can be considered snitch-y behavior. very annoying if so and you've raised your child improperly. he will the kid that nobody in school likes if you don't change him
Malexhe 0
I did something similar to that when I was seven, except there was no cop. I blame the schools for telling me that drinking and driving was bad, yet they didn't give a clear explanation to what 'drinking' meant. Its probably still like that today. :|
ccreel6800 0
Kids say the darndest things.
Gino14 0
**** that little girl id b pissed
24788 7
Haha, I'm sure you didn't go to jail because your kid said that. Only a hassle of having kids.
HaHa_Sux4_U 0
For everyone saying kids r idiots he the idiot I'm pretty sure 6 year olds don't know wat they mean by drinking
commanderadama 0
Ydi bad parenting would have been fml if the kid was younger like 3
ItecKid 0
Based on the FML, I imagine the OP is in England...and also, in U.S.A, cops can not pull you over without probable cause. Maybe it's different in England? Either way, kids have no concept of when it is or is not ok to say certain things. This is one of those times where I would love a 'get over it' button.