Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
Today, a customer walked up to me with a dog toy and said, "I knew one-stop shopping was a thing, but I didn't know you guys carried dildos." FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
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Top comments
tyranny 0
Old people do have a sex life too, and are usually a bit more open about it than we would like to know.
Glam_fml 0
Yeah, that was kind of inappropriate for her to tell you about it, but good for her for having an exciting sex life at her age. I hope I can be that lucky..
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Comments (172)
CruelSirDrum 0
i hope by the time im grey that i have the libido of an 18 year old boy.
blobxmaster13 0
OHMYGOD. creepy. whatdu do?! haha man fyl.
Bitts 0
Steve...is that you?
TheAmazing_fml 0
LMFAO. but how is this and fml?
Iwannabetreo 11
.. OMG YOU'RE ******* KIDDING ME, RIGHT? IS IT SOME KIND OF A HOBBY, LOOKING AT FML'S AND ASKING WHY THEY ARE FML'S?! Aaaaaaaaargh. .. anyway; Hahahahaha, omg, cant stop laughing. xD
lilacwords 0
How is it not an FML..
tgd4444 9
it is a major FML coz he missed out the ending "Then i got an erection. FML"
0___0 9
That would be the biggest FML.. seeing as the OP is a woman.
tukker 0
wtf?
K001 0
that sucks
IDoNotHaveAIDS 0
I don't see how this is really a FYL. I mean, if anything, FHL for being a bit messed up. But hey, old ladies can have their fun too, I suppose. I suppose it is quite an awkward situation, however.
TheAmazing_fml 0
but on the plus side, hey her hubby must still b rolling! viva viagara!!!
Tripodi 0
hahahahaha!
redbluegreen 41
So, did you get her number?
24788 7
That's creepy, but just ignore it.
Evilbeagle 0
Nothing wrong with having a healthy sex life well into old age, but the TMI aspect of it is just funny and creepy all at once.