Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
Today, a customer walked up to me with a dog toy and said, "I knew one-stop shopping was a thing, but I didn't know you guys carried dildos." FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tyranny 0
Old people do have a sex life too, and are usually a bit more open about it than we would like to know.
Glam_fml 0
Yeah, that was kind of inappropriate for her to tell you about it, but good for her for having an exciting sex life at her age. I hope I can be that lucky..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
Sgt_Schadenfreud 0
Why judge?
heatherrrx 0
I think she's at her prime. You should join her because you're probably at yours too. x]
tapesculpture 0
******* bitch... ew
shewasalmost18 0
yummy :D
mexicansweetie48 0
ewww. lol fyl. hook her up with your grandpa or something.
FYLnotML 0
How exactly is this an fml? So you checked out her stuff in a minute and then finished the rest of your day. Yeah, that sounds awful. Your life is RUINED because a person talked to you... yes, that sounds right
AeeVee 0
Way to go! Here's someone who has lived long enough to be called an "old lady" and has managed to avoid falling prey to ageist stereotypes that would have her sew shut her ****** and turn to knitting scarves and baking apple pies... this should be celebrated!
xxXChiiXxx 2
NO. It's because it's TMI. Sheesh. @.@
exohpAiGEx33 0
someones cranky... sheesh. no one said you had to come on the site...
RPGod 0
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Her pussy hangs like sleeve of wizard!
sallay 0
right on! whats wrong with getting old? im only 17 but i love old people especially cool ones like the one the OP is describing. :D
HAHAHSUCKS4YOU 0
Lmao she mustve gave you nice little image after that
mattmag 0
I can't wait to be old so I can do stuff like this.