Today, I bought a used SUV that had fairly dirty carpets, that got even more dirty as I drove my two daughters around. I got it professionally cleaned and detailed and it looks brand new, but now my daughters cry and scream as I put them in the clean car, because their favorite stain is not there anymore. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML
Today, I took my car to the automatic wash for the first time in years. I didn’t realize you’re supposed to remember to close the sunroof. I now own a freshly-cleaned car interior, soaked seats, and one very wet, traumatized dog. FML
Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML
Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my mom and wash her car while she was away. Today, I also found out how gross our well water is. The car looks worse than before. FML
Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML
Today, I spent all day cleaning the carpets in every room. I own two dogs and a cat, so deodorizing and deep cleaning the carpets is an all-day chore. At 9 p.m., after I was done with the last room, I went out to the living room and saw one of my dogs had been sick all over the place. Had to reclean the carpet. FML
Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML
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Top comments
awildwhisper 30
What's that I hear? Silence? Mmmm not having kids is amazing.
Mathalamus 25
They always say “you’ll think differently” when they never do. It’s extremely ignorant to say that.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Tell them they can go to work on making a new favorite stain.
awildwhisper 30
What's that I hear? Silence? Mmmm not having kids is amazing.
RichardPencil 32
You may feel that way now, but you might think differently in the future. A kid could be fantastic!
awildwhisper 30
Haha I'm older than I look, made sure I can't have kids 😉 thanks though for your unsolicited advice
RichardPencil 32
You're so welcome. Unsolicited advice is always the best. When you ask for advice, it can put the advisee on the spot.
Mathalamus 25
They always say “you’ll think differently” when they never do. It’s extremely ignorant to say that.
awildwhisper 30
It's frustrating that every man and woman is expected to want to have kids or they'll supposedly regret it when they're older. Studies prove otherwise; life and marriage satisfaction goes up after kids move out.
RichardPencil 32
I said "you might" not "you will." My parents originally didn't want kids, but they changed their minds and here I am. You're welcome, world!
Charlie Given 28
I used to think the same way then I had kids and I can't imagine my life without them
awildwhisper 30
That's cool, you can carry mine for 9 months and then pay me the $250,000 to raise it till 18 then you can also pay for it's college and be there when it screams for hours. I'll visit it on weekends if I'm not on a date night with my partner or sleeping or on vacation. Meanwhile I'll be here controlling my insatiable lust for breeding since y'all can't.
spinspinsugar 12
it really is!
Chazzster 32
Not everyone is equipped to be a parent. It’s a 24/7 job when they are young and even when they get older it’s still a demanding job. I have two children, and especially looking back on when they were little it can be a uniquely rewarding experience. On the other hand, there are a lot of trade offs and costs (time, emotional, and financial) in having children. And there are no guarantees how well things are going to ultimately turn out. I believe that each individual is best suited to decide for themselves if they are suited for, and in a place in life where, they can be a good parent. It’s a personal choice.
core01 30
I never had kids and Im still very happy I chose not to.