Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML
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Top comments
chocolateybar 0
YOUR FRIEND ROCKS :">
YUMmMm 0
LOL! your guy frnd IS amazing :P
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Comments (272)
acvz 0
What kind a undevelopped place do you live in where they give gay people dirty looks?
kimchicka 0
I know, right?
RaIeigh 0
IJD, you put a pic up (:
Johnny6speed 0
^^^^but NOT because of what you posted. Sorry I left out the not. Also, YOU ***** for cheating on your GF with another a man. :)
Notjustanother1 0
damn cupcake your hot
LivyGirl0611 9
40-it's called America.
rus1rus 0
haha ur friend is awesome!!! I bet he does that to random guys in the store who buys trojans
alexxusbrowning2 0
lol u poor thing...screw the people who gave u dirty looks though
NinjaSonic 0
Dis is ****** Up man! ('''(^~^)/''') Me and teh bear is happy!!!!
bballer55 0
ure friend is full of win =P
AlanS602 0
lol he was just playing around who cares what other people think.
summer_moon 0
hahahaha that's hilarious! and not an fml. now you have a funny story to tell your friends and who cares if a bunch of strangers think you're gay?
Otto12 0
first!
OuchFireAnts 0
haha.. ^^ funniest comment of the day..
Otto12 0
it's what I do :)
Otto12 0
oh god dammit moderators, the "first!" was a ****** joke! I demand you put the comment back. if u legitematly thought I thought I was first, go get a brain checked. if that's u sarin, I have lost my respect
mexican_girl 0
Ok, so some people you don't even know looked at you funny?? Wow, your life must be great if you think that's an FML
Rashkavar 0
Some parts of the US are pretty widely homophobic, though. It's accepted enough that gay marriage proposals make it onto referendums and the like, but not enough for them to pass. Dirty looks like that are quite believable, sadly. I suggest expressions of homophobia be penalized with the death penalty. That'll help with overpopulation and low average intelligence problems too.
samantha_durano 6
HA I get pussy allll the time. (jk) but sorry about your problems Sean lol. and I know Jimmy I need to work on my "addiction" lol (: -sorry if this is a repost.
MiabellaDiemion 0
u should've played along and gave them a dirty look back and said "wat? it's a free freakincounty!"