Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML
Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML
Today, during an interview, in my nervousness I accidentally handed the interviewer an A4 paper with my doodles and a grocery list instead of my resume. I guess they now know I need to buy more milk and have a questionable talent for drawing stick figures. FML
Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Explain to him you were drawing an arm, let him laugh at your ridiculous attempt at art and then after a few weeks the whole thing will blow over!
GenevieveL 0
Either you suck at drawing or that's one gross-looking dick.
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Comments (229)
adiaboe27 4
1) You're a dumbass 2) We all hate you 3) You need to go fall off a bridge kthanks, bye!
uunnkknnoowwnn 0
Why is everyone so mean to her? Haha.
mayday17 5
actually the percentage was 3% lol
SugarRushxx 0
roids for d*cks?
perdix 31
I can see how the two can be mistaken. My penis has an elbow and fingers on the end, doesn't everyone's?
perdix 31
I can't wait. I'll give it a pinch with my penis-fingers.
MadaZer0 8
Ugh... think I just threw up a little...
perdix 31
How about I think one of my penis-fingers down your throat, so you can properly throw up completely? It will be cathartic.
Starlight17 0
WTF?
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
OMG! That was HILARIOUS!!!
seldoodrekcinS 0
how about instead of thinking it down my throatyou stick it down there... may be a bit more effective.
MadaZer0 8
Predix... Dude... Not cool... *throws up on Freeze when he reads this*
helo2 0
hahahaha
ImaginaryFoe 1
Perdix, #63 was just...just...epic. Flawless victory. Mada, you never had a chance. And why are you standing so close to Freeze? Snick, you lucky bitch.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
perdix, how could you?! D: I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING!!!!! *violently sobs* Nah, just kidding. You're full of win, though :)
perdix 31
ImFoe, you didn't use the phrase "flawless victory" by mistake, did you? I looked it up in Urban Dictionary and the image stuck with me like that for Dirty Sanchez. Don't envy snick. There's plenty of perdix to go around. Mermaid, snick will be legal in a few months. By the time you turn legal, she'll need your help. ;)
MadaZer0 8
"Flawless Victory"? I've heard it on an anime parody on YouTube... What does it mean?
perdix 31
You got access to UrbanDictionary.com, don't ya? They do a much better job than I ever could.
MadaZer0 8
is it an app? And impossible! Surely you, Predix, would do a better job... ********~
babybubz 0
x53678852367
MermaidSongXOXO 6
#140 From what I saw on UrbanDictionary, a flawless victory apparently means when you poop and your toilet paper is clean after you wipe..... And I can't believe I just said that.
Freeze_fml 17
Lurk moar.
MadaZer0 8
Lmao @ Tara~ Freeze I threw up on you btw~
babybubz 0
oh it's possible... unless all your ***** are explosive? in that case you might wanna see a doctor ...because that... is against nature lol ew I have a vivid imagination ..that I sometimes can't control.. and I've got a horrible mental picture
XDNurse 0
this conversation is beastly. I wish I could save. ;3
deadsrs 0
Well it's a combination of missreading FML posts and missguided comments. But to be honest I have fun looking for her posts on every one :-) same way I feel about people like perdix freeze siren and adjjas (ajjdas? ajjads? ajddas?)
Shmeaty 0
it's always sunny in Philly FTW
brandibombastic 0
haha!
FMLFML123123 0
everyone is mean to her cause she thinks she is the shit. she always has to comment on someones grammar mistakes and anything they wrote wrong. so snickerdoodles way to read the FML right! maybe you should get glasses or something
Freeze_fml 17
Thank you, #43. I've been waiting a long time for a random person to mention me.