Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three of the four stalls were occupied in the restroom. I took the fourth stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I heard, "Hey, how's it going?" I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
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Top comments
cgart96 15
You didn't say anything back, did you?
DocBastard 40
A real man can appreciate good flatulence. Especially from a woman.
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Comments (116)
brandoneyez1 25
Who hasn't gone into the opposite bathroom at some point for some reason.
gracehi 33
I once used the men's restroom at a Navy training facility simply because I couldn't find the women's room, and when you gotta go, you gotta go. Many military buildings were built before women were allowed in the military, so the women's room is often a renovated storage space. In this case, I guess they couldn't find a suitable room to renovate near the existing men's room, because the women's room turned out to be on completely the other side of the building, nowhere near the men's room, which is why I couldn't find it. But yeah, it would have been really embarrassing if a man had found me in the wrong bathroom when I was there out of desperation.
ckerane 16
I still don't understand how you wouldn't no
toaster123 11
noooooo
Xxdinoponyxx 5
Ok umm first of all, it's know. Second, if she had to go bad enough she would be running and would not have seen it.
HowieDoIt 21
Normally the urinals are a good sign for me to see what bathroom I'm in, you must have really had to bolt in there to not notice.
hellnosucka 27
A Walmart classic, indeed.
DrownedMyFish 18
Just speak in your deepest voice. If you're lucky, you could pass as an androgynous man.
False_Stupidity 42
Better yet, just speak in grunts, if at all and hope he goes away soon and doesn't try to strike up a conversation.
kingdomgirl94 29
Conversations go against men's room etiquette anyways.
JonDG 12
*does the grunt thing from Wolf of Wall Street*
MrsPlague 11
I work at Walmart, and this sort of thing happens all of the time. I was washing my hands one day and a gentleman walked out of one of the stalls. Stunned, I said good morning. When he realized his mistake, his cheeks turned the deepest of red. It was adorable. But yeah, not really an fyl situation. When you have to pee, mistakes are made, and we know this. :p
Yousaho 10
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that's awesome!!
andy1500726 19
did you get out of the mens bathroom unnoticed?
JonDG 12
obviously not. she kinda drew attention to herself with that loud fart. plus, a guy responded. kinda hard to leave unnoticed after that,
Echosnow 15
That's a nightmare!!!!
appletreee 30
How did you not know you were in the wrong restroom??