Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three of the four stalls were occupied in the restroom. I took the fourth stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I heard, "Hey, how's it going?" I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
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Top comments
cgart96 15
You didn't say anything back, did you?
DocBastard 40
A real man can appreciate good flatulence. Especially from a woman.
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Comments (116)
scottyspot 11
You should have thanked him and acted like nothing was amiss.
katiegurl19512 10
so I'm not the only one that's done that? phew!
thisisg 9
you wouldn't get that in a woman's rest room lol
DeeDeeJay 15
I wonder if you made it out of the bathroom without anyone catching you...
Fuhkyoo 17
did you not see the wall full of urinals on the way in?
kieralumina 30
when you really have to go, especially during long car rides, you use whatever toilet is useable. the last thing on your mind is whether a stickfigure is wearing a skirt or not.
GuiLD15 7
#41 no. that's not it.
energizerbunny23 18
Well done
shredder8838 10
You should've spoken in your most seductive voice to freak him out ;D
famvd 15
Well hey, if you had farted in the women's restroom, you would have probably gotten whispers of "ew, that girl is gross" kind of thing. Guys appreciate flatulence. So I guess it's kind of a compliment.
JMichael 26
Until you can compete with my mother I'm not impressed.
DrHail 22
Embrace it!