Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
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Top comments
FindingYujin 26
Do you have a cat? Haha. I can only imagine your son learning it from that.
Crystal55621 19
What an interesting way to clean up. At least he's getting his calcium....though that is very unsanitary.
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Comments (65)
HeartOfLead 24
"Got Milk?"
DelphiCat 17
Spillage IS lickage....
Kidkaplan 19
Don't cry over spilled milk
superman3212 8
put ur kids in check. show them manners. all this could have been avoided
iwadasn 33
Accidentally dropping something isn't bad manners. It's not like he did it on purpose to be a brat.
DWynter 11
*shrugs* Kids!
baref00tmama 15
Why were you embarrassed when he dropped the milk? He was trying to help and made a mistake. All you needed to say was "it's okay; we'll get someone to help us clean it up". And don't let him lick the effing floor; you ARE the parent.
got2bjazzy 2
Next time don't let him carry the milk, try something lighter... that won't make a mess
nitrog100 21
Don't be embarrassed. Your son understands the concept of a party fowl.
Germy2000 1
I feel so sorry for you, OP. You should have a serious talk to your wife about bringing her relationships into your family. I hope it works out :D. Btw, you might wanna talk to her about having an ex that is a girl... O.O
George159579 9
Use a condom next time