Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
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Top comments
FindingYujin 26
Do you have a cat? Haha. I can only imagine your son learning it from that.
Crystal55621 19
What an interesting way to clean up. At least he's getting his calcium....though that is very unsanitary.
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Comments (65)
perdix 31
You shouldn't have been tossing Oreos into the puddle to get the kid to finish it off!
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Hurry up kid, people are starting to stare! -Tosses more Oreos into the puddle- .>
zombiekitten87 12
Did you expect people to ignore the child lapping milk off the floor?
KinkyCurly 13
Well start feeding the poor kid.
thejimler 9
Don't give your kid responsibilities when they're at the age where everything is a game, he probably spilled it on purpose just so he could pretend to be a cat. He is at the age where he should know not to do selfish and inappropriate things at the expense of others so a smack would help fix this.
Magicomoo 9
So glad your NOT my parent. I really hope you never have kids, because you sound like awful person to assume the kid dropped it because he was 'selfish'. Kids make mistakes, this time of compassion and explaining to the child why we dont do that. Who gives a dam hoot if he did it, lol I would have made light of the situation so I didnt harm is emotional state. He did nothing wrong. People eat of the floor! Maybe he thought was okay due pets or thought good way not to waste it.
cristy91 33
I don't have any children, but I've been around enough kids of that age to know it's just the opposite. A lot of little ones try to help the adult because they want to be like them, and in doing so, they have accidents. Never give your child too big a task (ex. Cleaning ceramic plates) but let them try with smaller doings (cleaning his plastic ones) If they mess up, no harm done and they learn how to do it properly with your explanation and supervision.
Neongreenme 8
why did you let him carry a heavy gallon of milk? That's stupid your the adult tell him no!
Magicomoo 9
Where did it state how much milk it was ? Are you tell me in your years of life you haven't dropped anything ever?
cristy91 33
The half gallon jugs are pretty light. Plus, if he didn't use the handle, the condensation on the outside would have made the jug slippery. Or, since he said "carton", it may be the ones made of that cardboard-like material, and those aren't very heavy.
love_me_electric 20
I'm pretty sure gallons of milk don't come in cartons.
sugoine 12
He's 5! Jesus, Mary, & Joseph! Just stop him, explain it's not something you do and move on. Forget what others think.
imagineapc 11
You completely deserve all of the embarrassment you felt. A five year old child is not responsible to carry any size jug/carton of milk, and as his mother you should know this.
Calingaladha 21
Nobody said he was responsible. He just wanted to help. Kids drop shit all the time. Hell, I drop shit all the time still. Nobody is at fault here. Except the cat. The cat planned this all along.
PeachiePrincess 16
At least he tried to clean it up...right? Haha.
starflyer59 17
Milk is amazing. I probably would have done the same thing.
lwonderful 11
Here's an idea. Ignore the stares from people you don't even know, and worry more about the fukery your kid is licking off the floor. **** his life, he's gonna get sick in a few das