Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
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Top comments
FindingYujin 26
Do you have a cat? Haha. I can only imagine your son learning it from that.
Crystal55621 19
What an interesting way to clean up. At least he's getting his calcium....though that is very unsanitary.
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Comments (65)
DenBriZel 31
Copying from an animal maybe? At least he tried to clean up! (:
CoffeeChickBlows 13
No, he copied it from a desk lamp. *rolls eyes*
TourettesGuyFTW 26
When I spill coffee on my desk, the lamp always mops it up. Or I threaten to punch his lights out.
feelingold 18
Here's a thought...care less about your embarrassmemt / the stares of random strangers who don't matter, care more about the shit your son licks off floors.
Uramonkey 11
OP should also care about the fact of why the milk carton was already open... While they were still in the store!
graceinsheepwear 34
It broke open, 40.
svalaedgren 18
Stuff like that happens, no need to be embarrassed and I'm sure your son was just trying to make things right by licking the milk.
bob226 7
mooooooooo
shutupmichaela 18
Well, no use crying over it
michelleJ11 25
No need to be embarrassed OP, kids will be kids. :) & ignore the stares, people will always judge you for the stupidest reasons.
SillyGirl4602 23
Little kids can be very embarrassing at times. There is no need to stress over it. The people staring at you do not matter. Just try to teach your kid that he should not be licking things off the floors.
dawood_k 27
You should have joined in, give them more to stare at
zoidberg666 3
Well, your son acts like a pussy
FMLbutYDI 17
Kids are dumb nowadays.