Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my partner got mad at me for forgetting to turn off the bedroom light when coming back from brushing my teeth, and has chosen to sleep in our spare bedroom over it. FML
Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my mom because she believes that my fiancé is "irresponsible" and "immature". I stormed out and drove back home. There, I walked in on my fiancé and his friends. They were in a heated and almost violent argument over which CSI is the best. The wedding's next month. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for two months. FML
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Top comments
gheebuttersnaps 4
There's more than one way to do this?
perdix 31
Make sure you request lots and lots of light bulbs on your wedding registry!
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Comments (289)
gheebuttersnaps 4
There's more than one way to do this?
HowAreYouToday 34
Yes there is, you ignorant bastard! Don't make me lecture you.
MagicGiraffe 12
So I guess opening doors with my ass is unacceptable?
shelbygordon44 7
May God be with you, OP.
Mario_lib 6
I wonder how much she will have sex with you over and over to teach you the proper way to do it.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
15) Good, and you? :D Your username.
R3TROxLOV3 32
Really, 22? I mean Really? You're a perv.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Yeah, really.
AnagenisisZagus 13
40- Welcome to FML.
MrSassypants 34
53 *the Internet.
bertman21 5
22 has a valid point. What happens If op does something wrong in bed? Is he going to have to do it over and over again until he does it right? Maybe there will be an fml about it soon .
Blue_Nuh 6
I've been doing it wrong all these years?! :(
hooligyn123 18
Her OCD is likely in overdrive due to the wedding. There is so much deal to consider that even a normal person could lose it. My family is currently going nuts with how unconcerned about table linens, tulle, streamers etc I am with my wedding less than a month away. If I cared, I'd go crazy too...
krnpanda 2
Anyone ever tell you your profile pic has a serial killer vibe to it?
Fmlsea 28
that's if they have sex , they might not lol.
zaynismylove 2
leave the bitch
Shadomasta 5
Time for 40 to get that filter installed...
porkpiehat 8
Her being OCD doesn't make her a bitch.
kristabelli 19
111, she needs medical help, not being left.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
140) You look so ******* gangster with that kitten on your shoulder. That's not sarcasm. I'm serious.
ReesieBanana21 12
I have self-diagnosed ODC, as well. It annoys me when people that as well
sunshinethehuman 9
Yeah "My wife won't stop trying to sex me up. FML"
LtCmdrData 11
You can hold the light switch all the through flipping it and flip it hard (1) or softly (2). You can simply flick the switch with a movement of your finger (3). You can use a finger or multiple fingers from one direction (4) or a fist (5) or an object that you hold with you hand (6) so that you don't actually touch the light switch. You can use the flat palm of your hand (7), the side of your hand (8), or your thumb (9), or pinch the switch between thumb and pointer finger while flipping (10). I personally prefer #4 as it makes the most satisfying noise, but the point is: IN REALITY IT DOESN'T FREAKING MATTER. You're welcome.
thereseg69 7
Wow... Good luck with that
Redoxx_fml 22
Wow get out while you can!
boating_guy 33
I can't begin to imagine how bad it'll be if OP gets her preggo
Pelvispresley 8
Remember to say 'I do' the right way!
emilyjgraham 34
bit harsh to say get out while you can! it's not her fault that she has it! there are specialists she can see for help and like someone else said, she's probably only this bad because of the wedding, he's obviously capable of putting up with it as he obviously knew about it before they were getting married.
Shadomasta 5
Dude. Run.
elliotb94 9
You might dislike some qualitiesthat your fiancee has but I'm sure if you ever lost her you'd miss them and same goes for her.
shellz102 12
You should of known what you got yourself into.
perdix 31
Make sure you request lots and lots of light bulbs on your wedding registry!
ComTlancy 12
Yes. We must make sure that we're all switched on during the ceremony. It doesn't take a bright spark to make light of this situation.
KMtheDrummer 6
Teehee, bright spark... Make light... Clever
AKGirlinSD 20
3, Or he can choose not to marry her until she gets her OCD under better control. I feel badly for the Original Poster. He probably feels as if he breathes wrong, he will get yelled at. "Honey, you're supposed to breathe out 4 seconds, not 3!!!!" Yikes!
ohSNAPyall 27
No CFL. Turning them off and on within 15 min makes them burn out faster. Go for the LED.
NothingsEasy 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Some people just have there own Way doing things, but that is a little creepy sorry dude
unknown_user5566 27
She's compelled to do that through no fault of her own. OCD isn't a choice. Even if it was, I don't think "creepy" would be the right word to describe her actions.
QueenSaru 28
While OCD isn't a choice, how she reacts to it can be. Yelling at someone for doing it "wrong" in your eyes means it's not under control. Having a mental illness does not mean you get a free pass to berate other people, it still requires taking responsibility for your own actions. While the OP's GF is probably stressed about wedding preparations, perhaps she needs to take a step back before saying anything in order to make sure she's not over-reacting. It would have been much simpler (and more understandable) had she just gone and flicked the light switch herself, rather than yelling at him for how HE did it. Then she's in control of the situation and not making other people feel bad for something they have no control over.
KiddNYC1O 22
That was ignorant, #4.
DJP0N3 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wouldint she be our fiancee then? And why the fuj are you geting married if she is such a bitch?
bluntbeak 6
Such a bitch? She has OCD dude
vanderleibry 3
As much as I love your name (brohoof), it isn't something she can control. She isn't being a bitch intentionally.
MrSassypants 34
What do you mean "our" fiancé? Also, why misspell fudge?
superswagbro 7
That didn't make any sense.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Why did he mis-spell fudge? - Because he's a rtrd.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
20- he misspelt fudge because he's a rtrd.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
What the fudge?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
To all you downvoters- FUQ U! And that's funny for at least 2 reasons.
laden_swallow09 35
Please share with us those two reasons.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
1. I shortened ****, therefore imitating the 'fuj' comment. 2. '**** you!' is a classic tourette's guy phrase. Any other questions?
MrSassypants 34
I have a question. Why was that funny?
bertman21 5
Wow that's intense good luck op.
jem970 19
I'd like to suggest taking her to therapy... That's extreme OCD and it can be crippling in every day life, also, you will probably want to kill her before the months out :) good luck OP!
narrowords 18
Or offer her a cigarette? Did wonders for David Sedaris, though probably not his lungs.
onlychildFTW 34
No. Don't offer her a smoke. Therapy is a good idea. That is extreme OCD and like the comment I'm commenting on said it can be hard to deal with it in everyday life.
alshygirl 14
It might just be getting worse because they're close to the time of the wedding and she's stressed. She may hopefully calm down a bit after all the hoopla has settled down.
emeraldisle 30
Sounds like something I'd do except I go around the house and turn off all the lights even when people are still using them.
vanderleibry 3
Everybody has their pros and cons. I'm assuming you are marrying her for her pros. Also, like someone else said, therapy can be extremely helpful in minimizing these things. Just try to remember why you love her.
spikedrummer49 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Run. Seriously.
MrSassypants 34
No. Run all goofy like. It's more fun that way.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop! (V) (o,,,,o)(V)
QueenSaru 28
Yes, but if you CAN'T deal with someone with a mental illness (and not everyone can), it's better for him to make that clear now, and not three months, three years, whatever after the wedding. If I suffered from a mental illness, I would rather have someone not marry me on the grounds that they can't "cope" with my illness, than push it under a rug for x amount of time, and then leave me anyway.
emilyjgraham 34
he obviously can cope because he has done, her ocd has probably gone into overdrive because of stress!
Haven74 6
106 - I guess you missed the part of the FML where OP said "Fiancée", and "we're getting married next month". Why would OP take wedding vows prior to their wedding?
BauerMegan 31
#25, I died laughing hahaha