Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML
Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML
Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
slushpup9696 12
So... you're looking for a mate?
apv0222 0
Little kids and their honesty...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (244)
PurpleChica9 0
I hate kids.:
angeluscado 15
Parents need to teach their kids to keep their ******* mouths shut. It's one of the reasons why I don't want any.
AliCat18 12
i would of sat on the kid and been like "ÿe well how do you like me now?"
5t3ff1k4h 47
would have*
blackmetalfan 5
I hate kids they're stupid little bastards.
Zoranius 6
Isn't she lovely? Isn't she wonderful? *Keeps singing*
Okayitwasme 0
Step one, Lay off the sugar and carbs that turn to sugar. Step two, turn off your tv, and go for a walk the market and only buy what you can carry in fruit and veggies.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Uh, who says she's actually overweight? Depending on how she carries her weight, she may very well be in the healthy (read: NOT OVERWEIGHT) range; it just may sit entirely at her hips and ass making her look fat. Or, it may sit entirely at her stomach level. Everyone's different; stop assuming.
wwwowww 4
OP-"hey kid", kid-"what", OP-*SLAP!*
Pazu_fml 10
Kid sounds rude as hell. But please stop singing in public. Holiday-time mall music is bad enough on the speakers; no one wants to hear it from you, too.
InnocentDesires 9
It's a real shame that rude & hateful people such as you douche bags are still alive. Seriously, there's no excuse for your comments. Put yourselves in someone else's shoes, if you were them would you appreciate people saying crap like that to you? No...so why do it? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." OP, I'm so sorry for the nasty comments, I truly am. Keep you're head up honey, you're perfect just the way you are. Always remember...God never makes mistakes. :)
Hypercrush80s 3
kids don't sugar coat it... Must be a "subtle" hint.