Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
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Top comments
people_annoy_me 23
That's kinda funny. You should have said it was you though, then slapped the lady for slapping her kid.
chris4u2nv5 19
Sucks to be the kid!!!
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Comments (175)
DeeDeeJay 15
Smacking a kid for farting isn't necessary.
noved911 4
Smacking a kid for ANY reason is not necessary.
JayBunny 16
Actually a little swat on the butt, for discipline goes a long way.
Agent_Oreo 4
How is that an FML. That's a full on win!
DylanHasClass 17
Poor guy
randome101 12
The kid probably knew it was you, tried to explain it to their mom, and got smacked again...
Fuzy2K 7
All the people who said "you deserved it" have special digestive systems that never release farts, apparently.
acgt1 5
That could lead to serious pain from the buildup of excess gas. Then again, the people who YDI should suffer like that kid did.
Sweet_Visions 13
Hahahahahah why do you feel bad? Thats a score right there!
martin8337 36
Blame it on the kid or dog, same thing.
msunique_me 13
F the poor kid's life! Did you then 'fess up to being the one responsible for the 'stinky' situation?!
mattmsk005 8
**** your life? **** that kids life for having to deal with a mom like that.
tomal0 6
You sneeze, causing pathogens to fly out of you at 200+mph and everyone says "bless you." Yet when you healthily relieve your body of gasses that might stink a little, everyone loses their minds...
Sangue0608 26
Actually the reason people originally started saying bless you when you sneeze was because when you sneeze your heart stops beating for a second.
Deadpool798 3
The real reason people said "Bless you" wasen't because your heart skips stops for a second (which it does and you are right on that) but the people saying it were religious people and they said "bless you" because it was believed that when you sneezed you were exspelling a demon. But I think it would of better suited a fart because that really smells like your exspelling demons xD