Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
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Top comments
volleyballgirl16 0
your boyfriend=WIN be grateful you have a hilarious boyfriend
amsedel 1
how cute. :D
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Comments (113)
elsieenchanted 0
O__O
AmericaPie 0
I think it's cute. you have a funny boyfriend, get over it.
hardrocktobi 0
your bf is awesome haha
twinklebells 2
I think it's cute & funny too, but thanks for sharing. haha.
plexico 4
Here's something cute and funny, she ought to grab his dick and sing the Gummi Worms Anthem. (Make one up if it doesn't exist.)
birds_fml 7
LOL #30! That or she should give it a nickname, like "Tiny."
plexico 4
Or "Squirtle," or "Little Baby Carrot" or "Microsoft." There's another category FMyLife.com ought to have: "Penis Naming"
ryan__h 1
ftw^^
tapesculpture 0
#68 LMFAO
DameGreyWulf 1
Oh well.
SaintJimmy 0
It sounds like your boyfriend is nice (Not sarcastic at all, I mean it). Seriously, don't read to much into it.
f_me247 0
Look on the bright side . . . . To get him back you can just sit on him. ;D But seriously . . . . what kind of dumb **** goes out with guy like that??? image what he'll do to you when you have sex ????? he'll rub mayonsie all over you and say that he'd rather **** a big mac and then he actually does it in front of you......... just image that!!!!! SO BREAK UP WITH THE MOTHER ****** ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
catatonicsleep 17
If you were unhappy with your weight and had been trying to lose some having your boyfriend do that could make you feel bad, especially if he knows you are trying to get thinner, so that would be a FYL
e_a_p1908 0
if you're insecure about you're weight, this is the worst thing a boyfriend can do. Get rid of him!
i_is_a_tr00l 0
YDI for being a fatty. You might want to look into that low-fat Jell-O. :)