Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
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Top comments
volleyballgirl16 0
your boyfriend=WIN be grateful you have a hilarious boyfriend
amsedel 1
how cute. :D
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Comments (113)
Shock98 0
ew. cellulite. :P your boyfriend sounds funny though (:
123monkey 0
just because someone's thighs jiggle doesn't mean they have cellulite, stupid
The_Cait 0
True. Cellulite has very little to do with weight and almost everything to do with genetics. I'm 5'4", only 104lbs at my heaviest and I still have some cellulite.
F_fatchick_lives 0
I have noticed in recent years that "heavier" girls blame it all on genetics. I think being "heavier" doesn't need an excuse, it just needs to be excepted.
chanman 0
you're basically saying we should kill them off or quarantine them. I believe you were looking for the word "accepted"
breadonabun 0
Wait a second.... Jello has a theme song?!? Oh and YDI for tickling birds till they actually tell you "stop I'm ticklish"
Intoxicunt 6
#70, FTW. :D
F_fatchick_lives 0
No, excepted. It's not ok to be fat. Excepted means it is excluded from the genetic part.
Jacks_Penguin 0
That's more triglycerides than anything.
Jlevrt 0
thats pretty.. *cough* *cough* "nutrisystem" interesting...
KRYPTON1T3 5
ydi for being fat
TheEpicPies 15
I agree!
bubbywaldo 0
Accepted.
ameliaruth09 15
you're an ass
amsedel 1
how cute. :D
GGnoRe 0
Nice boyfriend you got there
jonny2x4 0
You got yourself a prize there. Don't let that boy get away.
mercedeslove 0
time for a diet
Puolukka 4
Wow...really?! I'm 5'6'' and weigh only 113 lbs, but my thighs still jiggle when you touch them that way...my husband does it too sometimes!
Sun_Kissed18 25
Exactly, it could be all muscle, my thighs are all muscle but they jiggle :P
Syn_fml 0
J-E-L-L-O, it's aliiiive.
volleyballgirl16 0
your boyfriend=WIN be grateful you have a hilarious boyfriend
KiSsKiZzy 0
Awwww that's so sweet
iGreen_Day 0
I agree, my thighs jiggle but my stomach is flat, I don't have bingo wings and my BMI is in the 40th percentile. So chances are, the OP, like me, isn't fat. Also, fat has less tendency to cumulate around vital organs, which means that women are more likely to collect fat in the arms and legs than the tummy, which is where the uterus is.
plexico 4
SOMAgirl, are you transsexual? Did you used to be a man and change to being a woman? Because you know how men really think. Little things like cellulite and jiggly parts should be totally irrelevant to your man. If you would suck us and **** us with vigor and enthusiasm, you'd see a lot of the shitty little complaints and criticisms disappear. We love your bodies even with some imperfections. What we hate is when you get so self-conscious about your flaws that you reduce or cut off our access to them!
Hitsuki_fml 0
agreed...I'd probably start laughing my ass off if that happened to me
babycankles 0
#16, FTW.
cmac86 24
ha ha ha! ADD much?
toaster468 0
yup 2 2=69 jk ADD attention deficate disorder or something like that
IronyHappens 0
that's the worst thing that's happened to you? really? I can't really say YDI because there's he didn't even do anything. You're telling me you couldn't recover the mood after he did something so innocuous? you're life sucks because you seem like a humorous shrew.
divineinstrument 2
Well, an FML doesn't have to be the WORST thing that's happened to you, but I agree that this isn't even bad You mean humourless shrew right? I agree
TurdMonkey 0
calm the **** down IronyHappens, most people visit this site to read short humorous stories, not real FMLs if it wasnt for these type of posts, at least 3/4th of us would be gone