Today, for the third day in a row, I have been volunteered to kill and dispose of the bugs entering my apartment. I live with two "manly" men who can't use a flyswatter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML
Today, after three visits from exterminators and another from a steam cleaner, I still have bedbugs. FML
Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML
Today, I walked into my son's room only to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML
Today, I've become so accustomed to having flies in my house that I just gave up on getting rid of them. I only kill the ones that repeatedly land on my face or, worst of all, in my ears. Especially when they get stuck in my hair. FML
Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML
Today, I have killed at least several dozen flies over the course of the past few days. My cat, who used to be a fly killing machine, isn't doing shit to help me. She's not old or fat or anything, she's just lazy. Meanwhile, I had to go buy a water bottle with a cover to keep flies from going into my drink. FML
Today, after already living with two wasps' nests, as well as gnats that plague our flower pots, we've also discovered moths in our pantry, who've ruined all of the food. FML
Today, I had to move down to the third floor because after complaining about rats on my rooftop the landlord put down traps. The rats died. Flies came. The flies laid eggs. The eggs birthed maggots. The maggots rained down from my broken ceiling into my bed and all over my floor. I'm not okay. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
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Top comments
Strajee 23
Don't bug out. You're clearly the superior man.
anthonydpalm 18
Bugs are no joke OP. I can understand their crippling fear.
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Comments (17)
Strajee 23
Don't bug out. You're clearly the superior man.
FML_HelloItsMe 15
Get a wire mesh covering all your windows.And you are clearly the manly man over here.GL OP
eragon_1490 7
He's the Alpha, I'll get the salt..
aGMAELSTR0M 10
Get a bug zapper and call it a day?
sirdannyboy1 20
They must be pretty bugged about the fact they cant even use a flyswatter.
stryder9090 28
Bug-A-Salt
cprad11 12
Those really do the trick. There hasn't been a bug yet that has withstood the power of the Bug-A-Salt at my home. I blasted a wasp just yesterday with it and watched it nose dive into the floor. This comment shouldn't be down-voted. The Bug-A-Salt is a valid method of getting rid of bugs at a distance for people who may fear them.
countryb_cth 38
Everyone's manly until the spider moves.
thisguy22 33
This sounds like it would be an old Chinese-American proverb.
sighlifeman 12
unless they are super old no reason for them to be there anymore throw em out
Rubly 10
Im sure that bugs you a lot
anthonydpalm 18
Bugs are no joke OP. I can understand their crippling fear.