Today, I was at a family party and everyone was seeing my new glasses for the first time. My 48 year old uncle told me that I look like a hot librarian and then grabbed my ass. He was still sober. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
Today, I saw a ridiculously hot guy dining with his family. I decided not to flirt with him with his parents around but to ask his sister (who went to the restroom) to give him my phone number. When I came back, I saw her pointing a finger at me, and the whole family turning around and staring. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
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Top comments
Dramaqueen95 0
Whoa, Id get out of there fast. Thats a little creepy haha
kushal73 0
creeeeeeeeeeeepy.this just follows the stereotypes about uncles
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Comments (99)
Dramaqueen95 0
Whoa, Id get out of there fast. Thats a little creepy haha
TrueFear94 0
That just means that you're really sexy. I'd takethat as a complement.
ari330 21
you're disgusting, that's her uncle you freak. I bet you love incest
Moemoemoe_fml 0
#64 you've got some serious problems if you feel flattered when someone sexually harasses/molests you. Touching someone's private parts against their will is NEVER flattering, no matter the context.
outofluckdude 0
debatable
TrueFear94 0
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah
TrueFear94 0
You're just mad because you're black.
ryguy997 0
80 is a racist bast*rd who should go take a long walk off of a short pier.
orangeappleyy 0
and you're just a bastard who can't take a joke.
RunnerBack33 1
and you're just a ******.
mackischillin 5
Being racist isn't a joke. But nice try bud
tehantone 0
you loved it
sleephunters 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't act like you didn't like it. lol
PuffDaddy395 3
I promise I wouldn't be acting like I didn't like it. Nobody likes incest...
kushal73 0
creeeeeeeeeeeepy.this just follows the stereotypes about uncles
Dr_Haiku 0
And I wondered why the pages are so sticky Here's to smokin' nerds
crazytoaster 2
Who's to say it wasn't an Uncle who was only married into the family?
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Because that makes it better how?? XD Being molested by some unknown guy is not any better than being molested by some dude who's been in the family for longer. Both are pretty sucky.
Sunbolt 0
who's that hiding in the bamboo trees? sexual harasment panda! ( incest)
Person1233 13
You can get anythin' you want .. at Alice's restaurant..
goatboy197 0
I love that song!
fanbat 0
get it on
jessxoxo28 5
that is so scary... u have a rapist uncle =S stay away
Person1233 13
Nah, just an incest practicing pedo.
thatguy1103 0
Take them back and buy a pair that doesn't promote incest.
Swaggerwocky 0
Because every girl needs a molester uncle.
DeathShad0 1
If you have a creepy uncle riding right behind you then you must be good looking. Congrats at looking like a hot librarian. I think your uncle has a fetish for glasses...and librarians.
boatkicker 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm sure it was probably meant as a joke, and should not be taken seriously.
boatkicker 5
See, jokes like that are the norm in my family. My family goes out of their way to be creepy, but because it's so intentional, none of it is. I guess I forget that every family has different quirks. I can totally see how it would be creepy if that wasn't normal in your family though.
ari330 21
you're disgusting and your family is wrong and should all have background checks
hedgehogs 0
What #14 said. You might remind him that this is sexual assault.
lilah09 0
:
makino_fml 2
I agree with #14 and #16. It is pretty much as bad as your own father (mother in a son's case) doing that to his own daughter O_O
perfect666 0
whoa. i told my niece the same thing...wierg...
hthelittleone 10
Oh yeah. My uncle grabs my ass all the time. Hardy har