Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a concert. One of my favorite bands was performing, and I'd had the ticket for seven months, with a great seat for the show. It was all going perfectly, that is until a guy twice my height sat in front of me. FML
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. Not only did the people next to me have a loud conversation through the entire set, the guy behind me repeatedly tried to lecture me for head-butting him. Given he was a foot taller than me, I'm not even sure how that was possible. FML
Today, I was at a metal concert and I met a really cute girl. We got talking, and started getting close. We were about to kiss during the transitional period between 2 bands, but I was then pulled away by her father, who owned the venue. I was thrown out. Before the main act. FML
Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
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Top comments
dacho 7
Maria is a weird name for a guy.
perdix 31
Bending over at a concert is a bad idea. You're lucky you got an entire girl on your back rather that a piece of a guy lower down.
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Comments (176)
Gandalf_Baggins 4
funny name for a boy
bse 0
I can't believe how retarded people are who think the op is a guy named Maria. Its not hard to understand what happened. I can imagine the op being the massive woman from Duece Bigalow Male Gigalo.
Eohlas 4
Quit whining. It's not that hard to get her off. Just sit down and refuse to stand up until she gets off you.
artsaffron 0
i hope u elbowed her in the face. and she prob couldn't see yours. so don't worry too much. she's just a dumb, entitled bitch.
iamthis1guy 0
ydi for having a girls name lol jk
hanr815 3
What a ******* rude ass bitch. you should have thrown that **** on her ass.
toto365 0
just push her of for Petes sake wow ur stupid
Beach4life 0
hmm me is thinking just cuz it is NEW MEXICO i dont think there would be a difference but thats just me thoughts lol
Beach4life 0
directed to 110
pimpinjit87 0
as I was read I was thinking your lucky that a guy didn't try to grope or mess with u while bent over like that in a concert...
artsyfox 3
Well, you were bending down.....but I still wouldn't let anyone jump on me, you should have fell backwards and landed on her haha