Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a concert. One of my favorite bands was performing, and I'd had the ticket for seven months, with a great seat for the show. It was all going perfectly, that is until a guy twice my height sat in front of me. FML
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. Not only did the people next to me have a loud conversation through the entire set, the guy behind me repeatedly tried to lecture me for head-butting him. Given he was a foot taller than me, I'm not even sure how that was possible. FML
Today, I was at a metal concert and I met a really cute girl. We got talking, and started getting close. We were about to kiss during the transitional period between 2 bands, but I was then pulled away by her father, who owned the venue. I was thrown out. Before the main act. FML
Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
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Top comments
dacho 7
Maria is a weird name for a guy.
perdix 31
Bending over at a concert is a bad idea. You're lucky you got an entire girl on your back rather that a piece of a guy lower down.
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Comments (176)
TheGweeDoo 0
Ydi fit being an ugly chick
dreamingofnyc 0
it's a girl. that's the point.
ashleymarie907 0
I would have thrown her.
JAYJAWKMAN 0
What an unfortunate name for a man...
Jazze_fml 10
i'm sorry but simply jumping up on your shoulders like that sounds highly illegal anyway? one things' for sure if somebody had done that to me they would no longer be in good health.
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
There's a simple fix here. When she refuses to get off, you give her one more chance, them suddenly throw yourself backwards onto the floor. Your head will be cushioned by her cooter(so make sure you throw your head back extra hard) while het head will make a satisfying smack against the floor.
sexiSugarplum 0
Don't worry about it, she was probably really drunk..
BlackCube2 2
u must be one ugly ass guy and if i was u id would of punched her in her cat a say.... ride that you stupid hoe
bentheklutz 5
Quite frankly it's better than what could've happened.....
mxgirl1998 26
Throw her off, teach her a lesson.