Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a concert. One of my favorite bands was performing, and I'd had the ticket for seven months, with a great seat for the show. It was all going perfectly, that is until a guy twice my height sat in front of me. FML
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. Not only did the people next to me have a loud conversation through the entire set, the guy behind me repeatedly tried to lecture me for head-butting him. Given he was a foot taller than me, I'm not even sure how that was possible. FML
Today, I was at a metal concert and I met a really cute girl. We got talking, and started getting close. We were about to kiss during the transitional period between 2 bands, but I was then pulled away by her father, who owned the venue. I was thrown out. Before the main act. FML
Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
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Top comments
dacho 7
Maria is a weird name for a guy.
perdix 31
Bending over at a concert is a bad idea. You're lucky you got an entire girl on your back rather that a piece of a guy lower down.
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Comments (176)
lolababyy 0
okkk that's weird. I know it can't be that hard to get the girl off of you. & you must look like a guy -_-
tasha_caliente 0
y didn't u just drop her
CMC_LOVES_MGM 19
Wow that sucks, you should of thrown her down, kicked the shit out of her and to top it off kick her in the kidneys to make her cough up blood!
gasbreakdipdip 0
your eyes are green and your amost purple
Hated_By_FML 0
oh yeah, but she's not purple. i have a haitian friend and i swear she's blue-black lol. she looks more red, i guess cuz she's a redbone
Chixken 6
Violent much??
xX_rawr_KiTTiEXx 0
ohh what concert was it?? ;]
aussie5581 0
that last bit kinda cracked me up....ok actually the whole statement
sassyjesSa 0
hahahahh. fyl for lookin like a guy. maybe the bitch was high ? shouldve kicked her!
Hopersz 0
Wow, some of you need to read THROUGHLY THROUGH THIS. Did you not see that she said "Tall guys are the best to ride on during concerts? Considering this PERSON thought Maria was a guy. Mistaken identity. Also she could have meant guys as in "People" hence a man or woman. Doesnt mean she has to talk about a guy. To Maria that sucks i would have just pushed her off my shoulder/back
Ritaa_fml 4
I think the part "my name is Maria" is to emphasize the fact that the OP is in fact a woman, contrary to the opinion of the crazy girl.
ToNstAAr 8
You let her? I would have pushed her off.
The__Redneck 7
Do a barrel roll!
limp43713 4
do u ever see black people in the jetsons?? future looks good right???
seanreddog 4
There's also no limp43713 in the Jetsons so that's something we can look forward to.
redsox4021 0
We have a place for you people to go, called Alabama you redneck. Luckily your trailer trash family will long be gone after the out break of aids that gets passed from cousin to cousin you racist hick. Don't you have a Sarah Palin convention to go to.
seanreddog 4
hey dont hate on sarah palin. she'll shoot you.
seanreddog 4
you calm down
seanreddog 4
i was jk but thats right youd better!!!
blindyblonde13 0
woah woah woah no need to bring my aunt sarah into this hahaha jk.
redsox4021 0
the comment I replied to is gone it was about how there are no black people in the jetsons and that's something to look forward to. so no I won't calm down and yes Sarah palin can go F#€% herself
nemohazADDlama 0
hahahahaha doesn't she mean MANia