Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML
Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got busted having public sex. In desperation, I promised the officer he could fuck me if he let us go. Now I've got an extra charge and probably an ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to spice up our sex life, so we went and had sex in the park. We had 30 minutes of "spice", just to spend seven hours in jail. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, my normally very unadventurous girlfriend decided she wanted to have public sex. We were naked in the back of her car when she saw someone in the distance, had a panic attack, and started screaming uncontrollably. I got arrested because a cop heard the screams and thought I was attacking her. FML
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML
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Top comments
Iamnotmyself 17
Looks like this conversation wasn't too "hot" or too "cool"
Luciens19 0
Feel the burn!!! ha
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Comments (235)
Quest_ 13
You know, I think I'd be able to sympathize a touch more if it was a spontaneous and romantic moment with your gal. The fact that it was premeditated and you even brought lube is just weird. I didn't hit YDI though, the Fire and Ice was punishment enough. That stuff just feels like Dencorub on your genitals.
JaneChemi_fml 21
It comes on the condon. They didnt bring a tube of lube
Quest_ 13
Well, this is awkward.
TalkinSmack 6
officer... can u hold the camera for us?
lindseyluvszac 4
How do you 'make love' with a condom on? I hate condoms, my bf and I eventually got on birth control. Anyways, YDI
austinkiser 3
^what for birth control ur bf on? O_o
IAmTheHeavens 0
Sooooo your inferring that condoms aren't birth control? How uneducated are you?
A7X_LoVeee 10
^ Well that's ironic.
allaturca 12
Whilst birth control and condoms both can prevent getting pregnant, condoms also prevents STDs, which birth control don't. It's better to be safe than sorry.
austinkiser 3
I'll just say condoms are for *******...or for a penis? haha who cares
wtfitsxash 3
wow, "making love" has nothing to do with whether you have a condom on or not, it has to do with the emotion involved.
Kendrax0x 0
lol! how ignorant of you, hope you enjoy the clap!
GothicAngel17 24
Wow, you are stupid. It's the emotion involved, not whether you have a condom on or not. And he said "lube" not condom anyway. And yes I know it comes with the condom but it also comes without it. Also, birth control doesn't prevent STDs. Idiot.
austinkiser 3
53 - as u can see I said "on" not what is he using since she said her and her bf are on birth control
beccajanemgg 0
that's icky, girl. you and your bo will have issues then. herpes is for life :P
xyuukinekox 15
Why is everyone assuming one of you or both has an STD. Not everyone has more than one partner. That's not even a possibility in most (stable) relationships. Maybe they have no reason to be concerned with them. It's still stupid though. You're supposed to always have more than one 'safety net'. Etc: My sister conceived two of her children while on BC. Life lesson: Have two forms of safety.
jklol11 0
was it in the daytime? because cops wouldn't usually walk around local parks at dark unless they knew something like that was going on...?
wtfitsxash 3
i dont know where you live, but around here cops patrol the parks especially at night.
jklol11 0
I don't know where you live but it must be a little over-protected...
KLern 0
or dangerous...
glimitless 0
yu had time to use lubricant at a park? talk bout makin yoself comfortable
stevenmx86 8
Yeah wtf why are you doing it in the park?
dom162 7
I love how you describe shagging your girlfriend in the park as 'making love'
rekege 18
My thought exactly!
KLern 0
nothing says "I love you, baby" more than a quickie in the park!
caroline360 0
you're super hot! :0
AmandaLouise 0
at least "make love" in the car....probably not as romantic but then again you were about to do it in public........ :/
heyyouwiththefac_fml 3
rule #1 of sex in the park. get in get out. no lube. and yes I'm a girl saying this.
taarna77 6
agreed! if she can't get wet, saliva goes a long way! don't waste time!
adnama22 6
agreed
monnanon 14
WTF are you doing having sex in the park? don't you have anywhere else to go or are you some dumb kid who thinks having sex in a park makes them some sort of hardcore love god? You deserve it completely, why do people think they have aright to have sex anywhere don't you have any sense of decency?