Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML
Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML
Today, I had a mild epileptic seizure. My mom's immediate reaction was not to comfort me or call for help, but to freak out over the fact that I'd spilled my glass of milk over the floor. FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, my sister was yet again sprawled out on the kitchen floor. Passed out drunk? Nah, it was a "die-in" as part of her plan to annoy us into becoming insufferable vegans like her. I accidentally stepped on her hand and she screamed, making me jump and splash hot coffee everywhere. FML
Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML
Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left, I was carrying her downstairs and tripped. Try calling your parents from the hospital and explaining that their daughter, who can't even crawl yet, has a broken leg. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, while sleeping off my hangover, my niece asked me to get her a drink. I gave her a beer, I didn't notice it until it was gone. She is only 6 years old. FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
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Top comments
Jojohn0 23
Oh man that would be sodapressing. I'm sorry
CloudStrife97 9
Life lesson, don't have a seizure when she's the only one with you
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Comments (107)
monkiki62 5
Poor op, there is nothing wrong with going over a safety plan especially when alot of people dont know what to do when someone has a seizure. Obviously op has seizures regularly.
JBrownie123 24
The boy who cried wolf ring any bells? Oh, and maybe you can't act.
sailorzoe 14
I'm epileptic. You are an ass. Keep pretending to have seizures and the day that you really do have one nobody will help you because you're an asshole.
ClearlyImFunny 12
Honestly, if you dont know anyone who has the potiential to have seizures dont comment. You all think its a big ******* joke.
bobsanction 18
Guess you can strike off actor on your career path.
limabeans101029 21
It seems like a lot of people don't understand the fml. I don't think OP's intentions were for her sister to actually call 911. I'm guessing OP is someone who has a history of seizures and wanted her sister to know what one looked like in case OP actually had a seizure and would need someone to call 911. If someone close to me had a history of seizures I'd want to know what it was like so I'd know when to call for help. "Crying wolf" is irrelevant.
Witchylady 18
She is smarter than you think and it seems smarter than you. She knew you were faking it and saw the perfect opportunity to ambush your soda. She is going to be a superstar when she grows up.
awilliams44 9
wtf? I swear people get stupider day by day. if she called the cops r gonna come to ur house and u could possibly get fined. I would hope u would stop her before she called.
outoftown 27
Clarify the correct order for her: first call 911, then she can have your soda.
SirGmoney 9
This FML wouldve been very funny of she said its for the vine