Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML
Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, my math teacher decided to give everyone in the class candy. He skipped me, and when another student pointed it out, his response was, "I don’t like her." FML
Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML
Today, I went to go to an aerobics class. Shen the instructor walked in, she went up to me and told me it was a women only class. I am a woman. FML
Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML
Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML
Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML
Today, one of my teachers yelled at me for being two minutes late to class. He was so concerned with my punishment that he didn't notice the four other people that walked in after me. FML
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Top comments
Conkers 0
On a day when your brother is absent, you should go in his classes and pretend to be him while coming onto his male teachers. ;P
RichYungReverse 0
Lol i agree with #2 but the teacher should know it wasnt him i mean do you both wear the same matching outfits when yall go out?
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Comments (168)
elchapin562 0
don't blame your brother, i love older women too, 10 years older is my limit though haha.
jesse91 12
also if you like younger women, half you age plus 7 is the acceptable limit. like me and my 17 year old girl...from my dreams. *cries*
ohhsnapp 0
hahhahaha. ownnnndddd.
Tria 0
Oops. Presumably the principal got things sorted out for you? I have a thing for older women too... sigh... but don't usually get myself screamed at for it. *is a girl and does not come on too strongly, especially not during classes!*
fawfulster 11
Well at least you talked to the principal and told him the problem. Even if he didn't beleive you, you just need to call your parents and tell him that you have a twin.
x_Leopard_x 1
Lol! XD Dye your hair or something. I hope it turned out okay. =)
crackAjack 0
haha sucks for you! i'm sure she was really sorry though lol!
plexico 4
It's actually a blessing in disguise. You do NOT want a hot math(s) teacher in high school. The whole class period you will have a raging hard-on and guess when she'll call you up to the board? You may think you are hiding it by walking hunched over with your hands in your pockets, but everyone knows! God, I remember my 9th grade Algebra teacher (that's the grade you're in when you are about 14-15), she looked like Teri Hatcher. Her class was after lunch and her regularly had the high beams on. It turns out that her husband was a gym coach and they must have had frequent nooners. It was bad enough that she was hot to begin with, but to come to class with that post-coital glow. . . it still haunts me! She is why the Quadratic Equation works like Viagra for me. ;) Make sure you get a dude or an ugly woman as a math teacher. Only take a class from a hottie if you are sure you can stay in your seat during the whole class (and pray there are no fire drills.)
junjouromantica 0
Algebra in 9th grade? I'm sorry, but I took algebra in 7th grade, and it was an 8th grade class...
plexico 4
I'm old enough to be your dad. Back in those days, Algebra I was 9th grade; Geometry 10th grade; Algebra II/Trigonometry, 11th grade; and, Pre-Calculus, 12th grade. Some of us skipped Pre-calc, and took Calculus at the local university. As I said before, "they" are ripping you off of your childhood, everything has to be learned earlier and earlier! I asked my dad to teach me to read when I was three, so I was hot shit when I could read in kindergarten. Everybody else only started reading in 1st grade. Now, everyone reads in kindergarten! The question is: did they expect too little of us or are they pushing you too hard too fast?
stereopump 0
Algebra II in my school is sophomore year. It depends, doesn't mean he's stupid or anything.
salathyne 0
#71: There are still plenty of school systems nowadays that structure their mathematics programs like #85 describes. We had Algebra I as either an honors class for 8th graders or a regular level class for 9th graders. It totally depends on where you live.
plexico 4
ccyto, I got her when she was a cougar, now she is just tired. If you want half-hearted sex less than once a week, you are welcome to it! Still interested?
plexico 4
That's what I thought.
pyros09 0
That doesn't mean it's fake, he could just be over exaggerating
PaulieeBooMN 0
Maths? British english is stupid
crackAjack 0
you're stupid
barc0001 1
First, they invented the language, they can do what they want with it. Second, it's maths because it's an abbreviation of "mathematics". Unless you're claiming that it should be "mathematic", as in "I just went to my mathematic course". But that would be stupid.
BLNovelist 0
Hey, it may be stupid, but at least it isn't as lazy as American english tends to be.
PaulieeBooMN 0
who cares if you invented the language!? you haven't done shit lately
firstone 0
YDI 4 goeng 2 skool! LOL!
urMOMZin2TROLLZ 0
@TROLLZZ! YOU GUYZ ARE AWESOME!!! AND IF RESPONDING TO THIS PLEASE STATE YOUR GENDER! THANK YOU. @OP: YDI FOR NOT KILLING YOUR BROTHER IN THE WOMB.