Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML
Today, I looked at the Facebook page of the girl I really liked, and I saw that she'd written on her friend's wall, "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML
Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
maddcow 0
maybe her ****** is just too big
Melanie_fml 0
If it's 4 inches or bigger erect, don't worry about it. If it's less....seriously learn to develop other skills (though every man should anyway). Then you'll be 'that's the best p_ssy eater I've ever had in my life' instead of the small dicked guy. ;)
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Comments (132)
gumcuzzler 0
hahaha im rocking out my 10" dick and i get more bitches than a dog pound and MAN do the bitches moan! seriously...just go get a bigger dick..all that matters
Lqum26 0
Anyone who feels the need to announce to the world how big their dick is usually are people who have very tiny dicks. Oh, but ya we definitely still believe you.
citronmanu 0
big dicks are for loose vag ! lol
adamford130 0
#32: all i can say is: Kudos.
themark17 0
why you would ever tell that story i never will know
podrummer9209 0
pahahahah
5pawn13 0
I'm thinking she knew you were behind her.
Serial 2
#73, with a name like that, i think you get male "bitches", not the females
gumcuzzler 0
thats crossing the line pal, the gumcuzzler goes both ways
seayjoel 0
Wait,wait wait, wait. You have a picture of your penis on your Facebook?
DrishelxFTxFyr3 0
Today, I saw a guy I hooked up with last week. I looked at his Facebook page. I didn't think he would notice. I whispered to my friend, "That is the one smallest penis I've ever seen!" Well, he noticed. FML
woozycruzzy8D 0
Hahahahha for some reason I feel like your totally deserve.. I just can't find that reason at the moment