Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML
Today, I looked at the Facebook page of the girl I really liked, and I saw that she'd written on her friend's wall, "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML
Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
maddcow 0
maybe her ****** is just too big
Melanie_fml 0
If it's 4 inches or bigger erect, don't worry about it. If it's less....seriously learn to develop other skills (though every man should anyway). Then you'll be 'that's the best p_ssy eater I've ever had in my life' instead of the small dicked guy. ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (132)
dippindot001 0
ok #47 you are beyond an idiot. stop trying to defend yourself. if you have a facebook, you obviously know that there could not be a naked picture on it use common sense. obviously you are a huge prude and have never hooked up with someone and simultaneously seen their penis... sooo.. that is why you were dumb enough to think she saw his dick on the facebook page. wow. get a clue.
Gawain_fml 0
Next time, do anal--it'll feel a lot bigger. ;-)
killface_fml 0
@26: Following your equalities, if your penis is exactly 5" you both "have a smaller dick than a 14 year old" and "shouldn't worry about it," which should seem to suggest that you can collapse your rule into "if you have a penis, don't worry about it." @48: A coma is a state of deep and often prolonged unconsciousness; a comma is a form of punctuation. Besides, saying "has ought to be" is worse than not using a capital letter or punctuation. One represents a violent misunderstanding of the English language, the other represents laziness.
anonymousprime 0
holy ****, reading comprehension people, jesus
countrygal926 0
Sooo lemme get this straight... the majority of these comments are baggin on each other and not actually talking about this FML at all right? Gotcha
userisprivate 0
you shoulda walked up behind her and said, "dannng... how many dicks have you seen to have come to that conclusion?" and then mumbled to yourself about getting tested as you walked away.
Sexncodeinex 0
ouchhhh
xania_fml 0
so... when you saw her looking at your page...you got 'excited'? maybe that's why she said it.
pinkfrenchrose 5
#19 is an epic fail. You made my day though. :) LOL @ 44
threecardmonty 2
make her get on top next time. tighten your abs and extend your pelvis during her downstroke and you'll have her screaming at you to stop ramming into her cervix in no time. unless it's a really thin dick (ty duece bigalo), in which case you need to do it doggy style, but with her legs pressed together. Or, you know, just put it in her butt. Guaranteed to make you feel huge ;p