Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML
Today, I looked at the Facebook page of the girl I really liked, and I saw that she'd written on her friend's wall, "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML
Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
maddcow 0
maybe her ****** is just too big
Melanie_fml 0
If it's 4 inches or bigger erect, don't worry about it. If it's less....seriously learn to develop other skills (though every man should anyway). Then you'll be 'that's the best p_ssy eater I've ever had in my life' instead of the small dicked guy. ;)
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Comments (132)
OMGhi2YOU 0
ps. it doesnt take a rocket scientist to know the difference between you're, and your :)
Lqum26 0
Is this a school of grammar or an app? Please stop correcting people. If they make a mistake and you can't understand what they meant then you're usually the dumbass. so SHUT IT BITCH!
Tuxedo_Mask 0
LMFAO #32 ! i was thinking that too!
HerrKevin 0
#41: #30 is completely right, and has ought to be on the high horse pwning all you noobs. Seriously, a little common sense is required, otherwise you'll be the next one posting an FML of some dumbass mistake. And I will sit here and read it with smug satisfaction.
zidane312 0
yeah u got owned, but its ok there is a girl out there who loves tiny penis
OMGhi2YOU 0
#45 what kind of grammar is "has ought to be" use your own common sense dip stick
mckinneymacy 2
ought to be is proper grammar.. you should learn some stuff before you jump the gun and clown on people!
wildsharks 1
Says the girl who can't even use proper grammar herself.
daffy_fml 0
#47, chill the **** out. You are commenting on people's grammar, while at the same time never using a capital letter or punctuation in you posts (and no, adding a random period or a coma doesn't count). With that said, do everyone a favor, and read the FML twice before posting. ****, you are stupid.
OMGhi2YOU 0
Man y'all are just mean. Sorry that I misread a FML that was missing words in the first place.
jSOPURE 3
#17- Your comment was the most ridiculous comment I have ever read since being on this site. #29- Shane Diesel references FTW. OP- At least you got laid. :)
vitiation4 0
Lol, I really find it funny that people are either trying to comfort him by telling it's not about size or the fact that some people here are F***ing retards, but this was a good laugh. It seems fake though... pretty convienent he walked up right as she was saying though. Oh well, shit happens ;)
artanis_neravar 0
*girl throws a hot dog into a hallway girl~ "you see the problem?" guy~ "yeah that hallway is WAAAYYY to big!"