Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML
Today, I was observing a children's class as a part of a training program. The teacher asked me to take one kid to the nurse's office because she wasn't feeling well. As soon as we step outside, I slip and fall down, taking the little girl with me. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML
Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML
Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML
Today, I went to my job as an aide for first-grade students. I went home with a swollen face after my student punched me because I was, "making the timer go too fast" and he wanted more iPad time. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
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Top comments
robc32ca 4
sounds like subconsciously you did it on purpose. please go on.
locachick101 0
well damn.. did you steal some kids milk and cookies too?
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Comments (67)
maphineRAWRS 10
stop beating up children ? haha
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
<.< hold back maybe?
stevenmx86 8
Are you harboring a sub conscious hatred for your teacher and projecting the feelings onto her/his kids?
meganluvsurface 0
if u volunteered to help watch little kids, why were u playing with them? don't worry, I'm sure therapy can solve anything(to help the kids) just kidding ;D
NightMarePuppy 0
FAIL! you shouldn't be allowed to even get near a child
l2spellbud 0
I laughed after this. XD This is an EPIC FAIL. You elbowed a kid in the face! Aren't you like..4 times their size? And the swing..umm obesity doesn't hit til they turn 10. Calm it Arnold, no one is calling immigration! You need to be gentle, and not hurt the little children. L2PLAY.
yourlifesfucked 0
Ha L2play used to mean literal playing. winz
ciitrus 0
obesity does kick in before the age of 10. I work in a daycare. there 4 year olds that weigh like 100 pounds.
hahaalolz 0
gotta love children. good work OP! :)
sourgirl101 29
Ig, ego, super-ego and blah blah blah is all I remember from my psycholgy courses. (:
butthole_cheeze 0
its Id. not ig. freud would have slapped the shh out of u.
butthole_cheeze 0
its Id, not Ig. Freud would have slapped the shh out of you.
sourgirl101 29
Coming from a guy talking about fingering young kids. Slap yourself while you're at it.
butthole_cheeze 0
1) that was a joke. 2) it was Id. 3) Freud is dead. 4) what i said does not deduce from the fact that you were wrong. 5) you should slap yourself for having such a butch looking girlfriend/wife. oh, thats you.
DocBastard 40
Cheeze, not cool, dude. Not right either, but definitely not cool. Incidentally, the image of Freud bitch-slapping someone is pretty damned funny, as long as it isn't sourgirl. And incidentally Part II, "sourgirl" has now been learned by my iPhone's internal dictionary. Interesting.
butthole_cheeze 0
okay youre right. its not cool to have Freud slap sourgirl. but thats only because shes ugly and that would infect his hand.
DocBastard 40
Duuuuuuude. Uh uh. Just stop.
butthole_cheeze 0
you should ask the children to get naked and finger their hole with no lube. word?
Crimsonhead 0
#28, you need a punch in the neck. OP, you should not be around children. They're clumsy enough on their own and don't need you, with your Bambi limbs, flailing at them.