Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, while working at my call center, I took a phone call. The guy on the other line just yelled "FUCK YOU!" twice at the top of his lungs before hanging up on me. But of course, the phone agent is always at fault. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to change the language setting on my phone to Mandarin. Unfortunately, neither of us knows Mandarin, and we can't change it back to English. FML
Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, all because he heard me speaking Arabic. I was on the phone with my grandmother in Egypt. FML
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Top comments
fushengyuan 20
FREEEDOM!!!!!
A1NoSauce 17
It's okay, OP. They're still pretty normal by American standards.
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Comments (42)
Glynnis62 13
Oh my God. That is awesome. xD
ItzAbstract 12
it is where I live
ssnow_fml 20
Um, it is proper etiquette to end every phone call in the United States of America with either shouting 'MURICA, FREEDOM, or the screech of a Bald Eagle.
CarleeLynneXO 5
lmao hilarious
moonlight77 28
Well, their not wrong. We do have FREEEDOM, embrace it OP.
MiaTheMartian 21
Wait, they shouted freedom?? Everyone knows your supposed to end calls with an eagle screech!!
TacoCat15 10
That's awesome
JocieM 9
Why is this an FML? Its funny. I might start to end calls like this!
connorhperkins 9
You've taught them well
Bick77 4
How is this a bad thing? FREEEEDOMMM!!!!