Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, at our usual family gathering, Big Grandpa, the family patriarch, said with his loud super authoritative voice, "Hey! Where is granddaughter?" I responded, "Here, Grandpa!" He then disgruntledly yelled, "NO! I meant my PRETTY granddaughter!" FML
Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say hi to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML
Today, I went to visit my senile grandma, since she's ill and nobody else in the family visits her. I ended up having to sit through a long rant about the Illuminati, black people, and how we'd have a cure for the common cold already if it weren't for "those god damned foreigners". FML
Today, against my wishes, my wife insisted we let my horrible mother meet her first grandson. This is a woman who refuses to learn basic English, but for the sake of insulting my wife who doesn’t speak Chinese, she still managed to say in English, “Baby so ugly, you do better with next one.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kotton720 0
wow hardly anyone can speak chinese fluently nowadays.
amelinat 0
You know it sounds like Mr. Black man was more annoyed by the fact that granma specifically mentioned that he was black. My grandma doesnt speak English either and she would have said the exact same thing. Has anyone seen that "Professor Badass" picture that floats around the net? Thats the picture I have in my mind for this guy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (187)
allieg 0
Isn't that more of an FML for your grandma?
Loosechange 0
I wish she was my Chinese Grandma.
PhilipTheDeacan 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's funny I didn't know Chinese was a language..
22cute 17
I think that's great! Now, your Grandma has someone to talk to while she waits. I'm sure he didn't really care about the comment.
missathegirlwond 19
Something tells me the grandma didn't care.
Jaded_anna420 11
157.... Bless your heart.
theoffkid 0
FML by association!
Zorah1337 0
Well said rofl!
nlite 0
ouch, ripped. you should've just pretended you didn't know her :)
kotton720 0
wow hardly anyone can speak chinese fluently nowadays.
Jenny_genie 3
lol my cousin is black but he can also speak chinese fluently. its pretty funny to watch chinese people's reactions when he talks in chinese
summerguy97 16
Yeah, you know, except for the few billion Chinese people.
minesbiggerr 25
Chinese isn't a language
Drama77 9
1.5 billion."Few" is an overstatement.
biebahood 15
#177 I can't stop laughing, nailed it xD
Mikeymikey 4
You got served! by association... lol
amelinat 0
You know it sounds like Mr. Black man was more annoyed by the fact that granma specifically mentioned that he was black. My grandma doesnt speak English either and she would have said the exact same thing. Has anyone seen that "Professor Badass" picture that floats around the net? Thats the picture I have in my mind for this guy.
metro_mello 0
Omg tell em why I did too! I had that exact picture yet Ive never seen professor badass lol well until now. To op: People should just stop talking about other people in their normal language because 9 times out of 10 the person speaks that language too. People are very into languages these days :) I can speak chinese too yay :) I feel so included into the group haha
Paradoxasaurus 0
Professor Badass does not have a phone. He merely whispers his messages to the person next to him and everyone repeats it until it gets to the intended destination. People have died.
murlocholmes 5
131- are you aware of how ridiculous your comment is? "people should just stop talking in their normal languages"... How about you should stop spewing useless nonsense.
Mattyknows 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well don't go speaking rude about people in other languages! Teach your grandma some manners. YDI.(Well your grandma did anyway)
BusinessTurtle 8
You probably missed the part when it was mentioned that his grandma only speaks Chinese
Thunderstruck14 30
I'm pretty sure they got that part. The point is to not speak bad about other people. Even if you're speaking a different language. Its really annoying when people speak in a different language as if its some secret language no one knows. People CAN hear and they DO understand what others are saying. Even if they didn't, that's no excuse to say rude things about others, especially in their presence. It can be really hurtful.
smelinapants 0
This sounds a lot like the FML yesterday or the day before about someone calling someone ugly in Swedish and she replied in Swedish, go to hell.
Yuko_fml 0
#6 He was probably just annoyed in general and mocking her. If she'd said she was annoyed with a loud blonde dude he probably would have said that. Black people aren't always as pissy when someone brings up color as most people assume. That said, LOL. I got a Korean woman like that. Don't assume people don't know your language!
Seegtease 0
#7, RTFP. Her grandma ONLY speaks Chinese. That being said, if somebody were being loud and/or obnoxious in front of me, I have no qualms with commenting about it. I'd comment in English, myself. Who cares if he heard you? It's better that he did, and your life is not ****** because of it. That being said, this is probably BS. I don't think Chinese is a very popular in white communities let alone black communities. And if he was so well learned as to know more than one language fluently, he probably wasn't really that annoying.