Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML
Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML
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Top comments
Bumlove89 0
At first I thought, oh that sucks, but then I read the high knee socks and decided that you're an idiot.
bluedoll 1
That sucks...but how do you FORGET to take off socks? Speaking as an ex-tanner myself, I know you don't FORGET to take off anything in those overly warm little beds. Oh, and YDI for tanning. I stopped because I learned about the health risks. If you have lovely, pale skin, keep it that way. Use a SELF tanner for color.
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Comments (83)
yes_im_hater 0
YDI for LIES!
ensemble_coeur 0
I think the fact that you have an increased risk of skin cancer now is more of an FML
nvenomous 0
lol. ydi, enough said.
SamSJester 0
I hear guys really go for the whole pink body/pasty white shins and foot thing. Be prepared to beat them off with a stick!
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
There are good fake tans which don't make you orange and can look good. They also hydrate your skin. Hey, even I know this and I'm so white, I make snowmen look like black guys. Much healthier than getting blasted with heat which will increase your chances of cancer by a shocking amount. The socks bit is a FYL because with some knee high socks you stop feeling them after a while and forget they're there. But the whole situation is a YDI.
ZombieKnickers_fml 8
Although now I think about it, the knee high socks, plus the heat of the sunbed means that they would become uncomfortable and noticable. So you deserve that too.
monbon6788 0
you "forgot" to take off your knee highs? and why are you tanning in the onset of winter? you're just weird.
loto_fml 3
She went to a tanning bed ONCE. She's not going to get skin cancer from this one time, people. *rolls eyes* I'd say YDI for not being more careful, though.
did_it_4_lulz 0
they never said OP was GOING to get skin cancer, they said OP has an INCREASED chance of getting skin cancer.
danceoo 0
actually, one use can be enough. A solarium increases the sun strength by something like 20 times. it can be REALLY dangerous
tbbucs 0
lol. forgot to take knee high socks off? I hate when that happens. good thing you didn't forget to breathe too. ydi.
TheAverageLife 0
Everyone is very angry on this website...
summer99 0
haha i have to say that comment made me laugh.
Towelie_31 0
#26 your comment is making me angry
TheAverageLife 0
Good.
Anne553 0
why would you want to get tanned anyway? it's just the media that's brainwashing girls into thinking that they have to be tan to be beautiful.
rebamoo 14
THANK you. Embrace your pasty white skin!