Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML
Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML
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Top comments
Bumlove89 0
At first I thought, oh that sucks, but then I read the high knee socks and decided that you're an idiot.
bluedoll 1
That sucks...but how do you FORGET to take off socks? Speaking as an ex-tanner myself, I know you don't FORGET to take off anything in those overly warm little beds. Oh, and YDI for tanning. I stopped because I learned about the health risks. If you have lovely, pale skin, keep it that way. Use a SELF tanner for color.
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Comments (83)
ImBadatGoodNames 10
You want skin cancer? Be like this idiot and use a tanning booth!
sharond23 10
Oh wow. you're a smart one aren't you?
123Puppy 33
Wow, you’re stupid.