Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML
Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chippa 24
OP discovered a cake that they fell madly in love with 8 or more years ago. 8 years ago, they could no longer have this cake or anything else containing dairy products. Today is their 18th birthday. Their family made OP the previously mentioned cake that OP has not been able to eat for 8 years and still cannot eat. OP cried because they can't eat this delicious birthday cake and evidently, their family doesn't know her very well. OP's mom ate a piece of the cake which had a smiley face or something on it. Do you get it now? It's not that hard to understand...
chippa 24
Dude, who cares about the aftermath, eat it anyway.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (206)
MissaGirl1 9
By the way, I used to be lactose intolerant. according to my doctor, I outgrew it. my new doctor claims that you can outgrow it. you're born with it.
YourEvilHero 12
Connecticut!
maalicious 0
classic!
sdman923 0
Or maybe they put just enough thought into it, so that they could eat the cake, knowing that OP would not be able to because of lactose intolerance.
evybeth 0
well since there her parents.. they should know that she's lactose duh! parents=fail. but if it makes u feel any better my parents r the same.
oliveolive_fml 0
Wow that bitch has to suck it up and take a god damn lactaid pill
xxjoseph1543xx 0
wait, who was eating the happy part of the cake? what does that mean anyway? what does being lactose intolerant have to do about anything? this is stupid.
lorianngie 0
So, what have they done for your last seven birthdays? This obviously isn't the first one you've "not been able to eat cake."
BeautifulDizaztr 0
this is a stupid fml. obviously you've eaten it before if you "love" it, so freaking eat it again and quit yer bitchin. it's your birthday for gods sake. STFU and eat ur cake.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
WTF does being lactose intolerant have to do with chocolate cake or hot fudge? Next year they'll do nothing for your birthday & you'll be back here whining again.