Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
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Top comments
CyclonePsycho 1
At least you stopped her from getting on the road and potentially killing someone. :D
lukewarmocha 0
naw...you could make up a pretty cool story.
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Comments (198)
th484952 0
dumb bitch
RuralNinja 0
I hope you gave the bitch an uppercut and broke her teeth.
GrimReaper973 0
Dude that'll be a hell of a story for the kids and scars are badass anyways so it's a win win for you
delly_fml 0
Almost exactly like another FML but the ending wuz the OP getting hit by the girls car :P
winemysavior 4
can't you file charges against the girl or something? if not then i wouldve loved to punch her face
Scorponok 0
You have to kill yourself before you turn into a zombie.
cheesefest 0
Well, you're a heroine and have the scar to prove it :P
X_totallysucks_X 0
You're intentions were good and I'm glad you tried to stop her. It woulda sucked evern worse if she killed herself or someone else and you didn't try to do anything.
Tiki_fml 0
I guess she is am maneater.
Simreet2008 0
WTF