Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML
Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
Today, while talking to my parents about my car, my dad said, "Don't put a lot of money into it because we will give you ours when we move." I asked why, and my mom responded, "Well, we helped your sister with her wedding, so this is going to be your wedding gift." I'm getting a car out of pity for not having a wife. FML
Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with, "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML
Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML
Today, after spending $300 replacing a dryer and getting the vents cleaned out when our tenants complained their clothes weren't getting dry, my husband and I realized that it was actually the washing machine that was broken. FML
Today, my husband finally decided to help with the laundry. He washed a pen and it exploded in the dryer. FML
Today, I got a new washer and dryer set. It's sad when all you have to do at night is make popcorn and watch the clothes washing. I even invited friends over. FML
Today, I asked my SO for help with just the laundry, which translated into him only washing his clothes. We're married with multiple kids, and I currently work 2 jobs. FML
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Top comments
iggz 0
He does have a valid point...
twofirstnames 12
If you read it the same way I did.. It sounds kinda sweet, but at the same time it sounds like he's calling you old or something. If any of that makes sense.
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Comments (188)
darthrawn 0
Guys don't take hints really well. You need to just tell him and not try to be subtle. Bluntness is key. :)
pdp_fml 21
Men just can't take hints. I feel for OP, his comment was sarcastic I think.
mandibreann1212 6
I don't get it...
g_ayvel 11
Rude^^
funkthat26 2
Why didn't you just tell him that the house needs a washing machine? It's not like he's gonna hit you or something.
toalysium 15
Sounds like it time for a new model. Should probably get a new washing machine also while you're at it.
Darklord53 0
Op is in France (where rape is legal). I suggest buying a strap-on, mount his anus, and tell him that you need a new washing machine, and if he disagrees **** him. P.s. I'm probably gonna get banned for that one so see you guys in about a month :)
The_creator_fml 2
Does anyone else notice how half the people that comment on fmls either read half of it or just dont understand it.
JadedJarOfHearts 3
He could have meant it in a nice way? :/
choppedfisher 0
Perhaps he was talking abouttaking the OPs virginity....
skylaryoungblood 2
@126, too right