Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML
Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
Today, while talking to my parents about my car, my dad said, "Don't put a lot of money into it because we will give you ours when we move." I asked why, and my mom responded, "Well, we helped your sister with her wedding, so this is going to be your wedding gift." I'm getting a car out of pity for not having a wife. FML
Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with, "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML
Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML
Today, after spending $300 replacing a dryer and getting the vents cleaned out when our tenants complained their clothes weren't getting dry, my husband and I realized that it was actually the washing machine that was broken. FML
Today, my husband finally decided to help with the laundry. He washed a pen and it exploded in the dryer. FML
Today, I got a new washer and dryer set. It's sad when all you have to do at night is make popcorn and watch the clothes washing. I even invited friends over. FML
Today, I asked my SO for help with just the laundry, which translated into him only washing his clothes. We're married with multiple kids, and I currently work 2 jobs. FML
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Top comments
iggz 0
He does have a valid point...
twofirstnames 12
If you read it the same way I did.. It sounds kinda sweet, but at the same time it sounds like he's calling you old or something. If any of that makes sense.
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Comments (188)
Plaasmaa 4
*******.Brilliant.
Razzed 4
Yeah 56, pretty much that exactly. I got new furniture the other day. You know how I got it? I said to my husband, "You know honey, this furniture is crap. I'm going to go look for new stuff." I didn't mope around for a week or two, relentlessly harping about how the seams in the cushion are frayed, or about how the sofa is so old that he could have been conceived on it. I just told him straight up that we needed new furniture. Lo and behold, I got it. You also up your chances of getting nice things if you don't insist that your husband accompany you to the store to pick out a new appliance. Odds are, he doesn't care what you get, as long as you shut up about it and give him some peace and quiet after the heavy lifting is done. This is one of my favourite phrases, "Oh, don't worry honey, I'll go pick out what I want, you just stay here and relax. Have a beer and play your game."
zane631 0
Boom!!
hoonyer 17
Husband:1 Wife: . . . well who's keeping count anyways?
badactor009 0
A fully functional washer and dryer is standard equipment for an American household for the past 75 years. Tell him you are going to pick out the new one and he can just get over it.
CaptainBlack 18
Wow, rude.
itzProPain 10
ZING!
XblushingbroadX 2
....i dont get it :/
Ctwebsyter 0
Was he lying...?
robberry 11
Don't be an idiot, men don't understand "hints." Be direct and tell him what you want. You can thank me later.