Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML
Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML
Today, I took my nephew to the zoo and spent the day telling him fun animal facts. At the giraffe enclosure, I explained that giraffes can't make sounds. Right on cue, one let out the loudest snorting noise I've ever heard. My six year-old nephew looked at me and said, "Maybe Google isn't always right." FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
xsnapxitsxjustin 0
oooh .. aha u need to guide that kid . before she becomes a single mom on the future .. haha
jussjess 0
WOW! What has she been learning at preschool!?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (277)
Sasoono 1
rofl, this one made my day! leap frog sex tag ;D
puertoricanbabe 0
amazinggg that's rely funny hahahaha ! and sucks at the same time
polopony 0
It's sad that it wasn't a lion and a tiger. The world needs more ligers
chickengnaw 0
WIN!
QWERTYCommander 5
Your niece wins. She just says it like it is. That skill can get her pretty far in life.
xosophie45 0
that kids smart , I mean how could they be playing leap frog anyways when the big lions just rocking back and forth !? (:
Mobilemoll 0
Laughing at and not with. that said, she learned that from somewhere so find out!
kidwiththehair12 0
just wait until she gets suspended for rolling around on the floor with a boy yelling CUM ON MY BELLY
ManaUser 0
YDI for lying to your niece.
lilkilla13 0
14 ur so hot! ;) haha