Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time, I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said, "I think your tits are smaller." FML
Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML
Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML
Today, I hung out with some old friends for the first time since losing about 50 pounds, going from clinically obese to a healthy weight. I even bought a cute new dress for the occasion to show off my new body. No one noticed the change. FML
Today, it's my sixth month of working out 5 days a week, watching what I eat while my family eats like kings, and only losing 2lbs. It's also the day husband said he misses my 20 year-old body and no longer finds me attractive, but that's okay because he "loves me anyways and it's good to know where we stand." FML
Today, my boyfriend suggested I try on some old clothes, after weeks of eating better and exercising. The good news: they fit again, and are even a little bit loose. The bad news: somehow, I look fatter now than I did before I started trying to lose weight. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML
Today, my best friend told me I lost weight. I was happy because I've worked hard to shed off those pounds. I asked her what changes were evident, she told me that I now have a neck. FML
Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML
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Top comments
Pandasaur 0
Aw, that's a bummer. Congrats on losing 32 lbs though!
volleyballgirl16 0
well you lost weight so youll be hot for a better boyfriend
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Comments (161)
DeadMansCrack 4
oh, well be happy for your sister. jk. I'm a ****.
nonotme 0
YDI for going to france.
DeadMansCrack 4
Jeez,why are all these tight asses putting thumbs down for one word? Damn, I didn't know you guys disliked the word "oh" so much. I'll make sure to leave that word out in case I get first again.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
I agree voting down the first guy if all he says is first, but just having it on the end? It was a legit comment, it should not be this way. I shall rate it up to try to unbury it
DeadMansCrack 4
Thank you kind gentleman
seanreddog 4
Can I have a biscuit?
Starchild21 3
Hey look a retard just used emoji :D Everybody clap for the special one :) ____________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
seanreddog 4
Hey look a retard just made fun of a retard! What has the world come to? NOBAMA!!!
seanreddog 4
Im guessing the OP is a fatass, doesn't she lose 32 lbs every time she takes a crap? That's like 12 Courics! She'll need to break a hundred if she wants a record!
filip_fml 0
hey look a retard leaves his myspace url at the end of his every comment
el_zilcho111 0
its called a tag....u customise it in ur profile and its automatic at the end of every one of your messages
grammarcheck 2
Why does NO ONE use Oxford commas? Which pronunciation is closer to what you say, "younger (pause) thinnerandtanner" or "younger (pause) thinner (pause) and tanner"?? OP, it just might be breakup time
crudeandrudeguy 29
There is an animal attraction to the women you know you aren't allowed to have;-D
janefrom1979 0
he's not worth it then
whoisthisgirl 4
keep the bitch outta your house then :P
sovietkiwi 0
threesome?
Pandasaur 0
Aw, that's a bummer. Congrats on losing 32 lbs though!
bubbles0110 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
THIRD!
Bullshet 0
Um...no.
musiclife_fml 0
Fail.
Antonio718 0
Epic
jmspin 0
the moderator should get rid of comments by douche bags like you instead of by people who actually have something to say. and next time you get all excited about what number you are make sure you write the correct number down **** head
kewlfox 0
i honestly don't get why everyone cares so much about when people say what number they are... what's the big deal?
iljajlm 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
My gender never fails to piss me off sometimes. Well I guess you can't really blame him for looking though. Either way FYL
kawa_fml 0
Way to be contradictory.
Unregistered 0
wow you sir are a ******
ashlerywatts 0
Wow...that statement totally contradicts itself. Way to go.
_anonymoose_ 0
at least you lost 32 pounds :D
volleyballgirl16 0
well you lost weight so youll be hot for a better boyfriend
maplebaby 0
i love this. TOO TRUE, leave that jackass.
canucksrule88 0
you go girl
_anonymoose_ 0
#4: fail
plexico 4
Good job losing 32 lbs, but it looks like you've got about 110 to go, and you'll be fine. The first 32 you lost with diet, exercise and willpower, but the next 110 will require horse tranquilizer, a pillow and heavy-duty plastic bags. Good luck.
sageblast95 0
Taking her sister out doesn't sound like a good idea
the_stereotype 0
is it bad that i didn't understand that until #46 explained it?
sageblast95 0
no it means we have a psycho killer on the loose
salemwitch_fml 0
congratulations on not having psychotic tendencies #48!
maipinkbear 0
you could lose some more weight and fake bake to be more like your sister. but a better idea would be to just get a new boyfriend. congrats on the 32 lbs!
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Uhmm, Plexico, sorry to break it to you, but you forgot shovel on that list. Hell, I'm certain shovel can replace that list :P 'Tis the perfect tool. You can kill with it, then use it to bury the body!
plexico 4
Good one, Mr. Lyrics, I was leaving the disposal of the body as an exercise for the reader. I do like your notion that the shovel could do double-duty as a bludgeon. And sagbleast95, I agree that "Taking her sister out doesn't sound like a good idea." That's why the boyfriend shouldn't have done it. Now, the sister must pay for accepting.
XOfiestypixie 0
Plexico = win. Though you might also want to add night-vision goggles to your list too, because disposing bodies in the middle of the forest at night can be dangerous, and flashlights give you away. Hell, if you're going for murder, might as well have fun with it and make sure you don't get caught. =)
plexico 4
Gosh, fiestypixie, thanks for the kind words. It sounds like you know what you are talking about. Gulp! I'd better be nice to you! ;)
pasiphae9 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well... Thats a bummer, but admit it, if the roles were reversed you'd be doing the exact same. As long as he loves you for more than just your body, then there isn't much to worry about. Congrats on losing the weight, though!
Wanton_Rhapsody 0
Pasiphae... Seriously?? Forget what the girl looks like. If your boyfriend is checking out your little sister IN FRONT OF YOU, then he's an ass. Who would say that's something that you should put up with? If I'm with a guy, I'm not going to try to say I don't check out other people. But siblings are off limits and doing it in front of the other person is just rude.