Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Definitely not the type of head he was expecting.
Krwman 8
Well, your heart is in the right place; even if the rest of you wasn't.
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Comments (147)
Markovski 18
FHL, let's all take a moment for OP boyfriend's balls.
jackroarrr 25
HAHAHA FHL
rhysfucker 24
A+ for effort. C- for execution. Practice makes perfect!
Scryll 17
Yeah she didn't quite get a D...
Ichiya 29
Oh no I think she hit the D right on the head.
FutBol_Fan_30 29
I cringed just reading this. Ouch
gabby_john_ 15
Too bad he didn't get sucked as well
MasterBob_fml 14
Time to have a long talk with him and get a new boyfriend.
VeganDarkLight 31
I see what you did there.
keiNan_fml 35
#34 no you didn't.
Ichiya 29
Master Bob!
jacky75_fml 21
This is not the kind of head job he was expecting.
YourOpinionSucks 22
Your definition of adventurous is giving your boyfriend a *******? Your sex life must be SO fun. (Sarcasm, for you FML-nazis that didn't get it.)
mergeterge 24
Wow. So judgmental! I think most people taking a shower before getting ready for the day would consider a quick ******** to be at least a little adventurous! It also takes a fair amount of confidence on behalf of the giver...
chocolatelover96 14
Hey, at least OP had a partner ;)
YourOpinionSucks 22
You're implying I don't #123? Please assume more about my life, asshat.
Tarlachia 33
Well you certainly gave him a blow. Just not the kind he'd have liked.
StickyPickles 33
A for effort I say. .