Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML
Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML
Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML
Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML
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Top comments
EvenHopeHides 0
you should take clear packaging tape on his pubes, then rip it off
tygerarmy 35
Besides the initial pain are you ok? Just get your brother back. He's gotta sleep sometime.
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Comments (80)
Liv94 2
ouch
MRiKiCCS 0
holy **** . douche bag bro you got their op.
BoColors 0
no doubt. but it made me laugh
heyheywaddup 7
yupp
Marcella1016 32
I agree 22 That sounds so painful!
SHORTstopp99 5
chapstick?
IStoleTheCookies 16
lip balm
takeapieandrun 9
Your brother thought right!
bman134 0
agreed
nightDREAMERms 6
Hm. I have chapped lips right now too. Yes, that's relevant.
funkmasternikkin 0
hi
TaTaTanyaHo 5
HI
OhShuttup 0
Hello!
Mehness 0
你好 :)
Saltime 0
H?la!
rohanmo 9
ni hao
jason2468 0
get a new bro
AZMarine 0
As they say: you can pick your friends, you caneven pick your nose. But you can't pick your family... but what about adoption?...
unidentified_sta 5
You can pick Child Protection Services on the other hand. Make the right call! Smash your family unit with a phone call!
tygerarmy 35
Besides the initial pain are you ok? Just get your brother back. He's gotta sleep sometime.
Shiningstartp 9
OMG. This literally made me cringe. OUCH!!!
Pocahontas22_fml 0
me too!! ouchh..
JuuuusssstFML 0
that ******* sucks
Bubblerider 3
AAGH!!!! JERSEY SHORE!!!! GO AWAY!!!!! D:
nerfherder24 0
snooki want smoosh smoosh!
sylphy 0
SNOO SNOO?-- WAIT SNOOKIE? OH GOD NEVERMIND. KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!
EvenHopeHides 0
you should take clear packaging tape on his pubes, then rip it off
ilaveyou 0
lmao..
DoctorKyda 5
Yes, because every sister wants to get so close to her brother's nuts as to tape down there. >_
mrfuzzywiggles 11
Screw clear packaging tape, use duct tape.
ChadHelton 8
gorilla tape on eyebrows, just leave it for him to pull off. he'll be lucky to keep his forehead.
IowAuburn_fan77 4
hahhahahhahahah sounds like something I would do to my brother.